"Boys Will be Boys"

I'll let you decide...

Here is the latest drama with my current roommate, the "fill in the blank" (in order of appearance in our respective email accounts)... ENJOY! I have. HA HA HA I've been dying to post regarding this subject, but decided early on that it was best to not post considering Ang only searches my blog for her name. To the best of my knowledge she doesn't read anything, except situations that may involve her (hummmm, a selfish and conceded???) However considering that there is no point of return, I thought I would "journalize" her, especially since the point of this journal is to keep record of my life. This "drama" is definitely worth documenting. Once again - ENJOY.

Jason - Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2004 14:46:46 -0500
What up?

Ang - i hate my job, u?

Jason - LOL... floating in the same boat, ya know? I applied for a few jobs yesterday. Random stupid things. Have you heard anything from the interview yet?

Ang - no, he told me he would call me the beginning of next week... so we will see the "boy" called me last night..and my dumbass was out and left my phone in my room....wtf?

Jason - hummm.... did he leave a message?

Ang - yes... it went like this " Hey, this is Jason..just calling to see what is up....ok, talk to you later..." so i left him a voicemail when i got home..... i hope he calls tonight...we'll see....I'm fiending now...once you get some.... ..... aargh

Jason - Ohhh... I know. Trust me... I know. I met a boy. His name is *****. We had sex. On Monday night. It was HOT.

Ang - MONDAY?? HIS PLACE OR OURS???? I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO CATCH UP!

Jason - ours. He left at 3am. I bought some dish detergent yesterday.

Ang - cool.

Well, I know you can sense that I am irritated about something... which is why you have emailed me today... so.. I'll tell you. See, I am the type of person who lets things pile up and then i get pissed... So, there are a couple things. First of all, I was a little irritated about the painting thing.. You say you are broke and cant go out or pay for food, yet you go and buy paint for the kitchen.... and you were supposed to return the paint from last time on saturday and i havent seen the credit on my credit card yet.. Then my computer... I told you no porn..then I see www.gaypornblog.com on my internet explorer history... I have been getting tons of pop-ups now. My computer has been acting funny this week and it is pissing me off... I didn't appreciate all the negativity about my interview the other day either. And, when I call you.. you dont pick up and dont return my calls lately... I dont get it.. I try to be a good friend/roommate... I cook, clean the dishes, pick up random stuff from the store, whatever.... I feel like I am really considerate to you and sometimes I dont feel it back.. So, I just get upset and quiet and keep to myself.. so that is basically why I haven't been talking much..

Jason - Let me respond...

In relation to your concern of my finances... Yes, I might say that I don't have any money to go, etc. However I am dealing with a $1,300 tax bill that I somehow have to find a way to pay here in the next few months. I may be a bit frugile with my money lately for that specific reason. You have to keep in mind that things for me might not be so difficult for me had I not offered to front several hundred dollars to you (which mind you I haven't asked for you to pay me back). For this reason alone, I ask for a bit of flexibility. I understand that you pick up groceries and things and I certainly do appreciate your efforts to keep things stocked. Correct me if I am wrong but I thought our initial conversation back in January decided that we would keep all the receipts and tally things up at the end of the month? I of course have the money to give you, however it doesn't make a ton of sense to me to write you a check every few days for a couple of dollars. I'd prefer to only write a check once a month or once every two weeks.

As you are well aware, I am the type of person that likes to see results. It drives me crazy to see things only half done. The reason I broke down and bought the paint is because it needed to be done and because I get paid tomorrow, I figured I could afford to do it last week. I could easily turn your comments back to you as well. You make comments that you can't afford to pay for half a can of paint, but you can go out Friday and Saturday nights? Come on Ang... we are talking nine dollars. See my point?

Also, I apologize for not returning the paint on Saturday. I forgot to mention it to you. I left the receipt at home - I thought it was in the car with the paint.

In response to your porno comments. Did you by chance take a look at the site in reference? That is a personal web journal of someone I know online. It is not a porn site even though the name might reference otherwise. Also, personal web journals do not have pop-up windows, so this shouldn't be the cause fo your computer issues. I'd also like to mention that almost 100% of the web sites that you view online will leave a cookie on your computer - not just porn sites. Cookies are designed to speed up the transmission of data from the web site to your computer by storing bits of data directly on your computer. Disabling cookies essentially will not allow you to view most web sites produced online. I personally can not control cookies, nor can I control pop-up windows. If you think that I am causing the problems on your computer, than I will discontinue use. However you have to understand that if you make that decision, I will discontinue paying for the internet service until I have a personal computer of my own, an d you will be responsible to cover that part of the cable bill. I'll leave that decision up to you.

In response to my comments about your interview... if you recall I initially reponded positively, asked questions about how it went and then I congratulated you. As your "friend" I also made a comment to not get your hopes up too high because I had a simliar experience where things went really well and then when I didn't get the job I was VERY disappointed and felt really bad about myself and the situation. Because I care about you, I don't want to see that happen and I was just warning you that it certainly is a possiblity. Friends don't always sugarcoat everything. I don't think I should have to hold back comments that could potentially benefit you in the end, but if it hurts your feelings to know the truth, I won't comment anymore. Again, that would be your choice.

Finally in response to your concern about phone calls.... yes, sometimes I don't call back. Especially when I am on my way to work in traffic and I only have a 15 minute window to return calls. I've always returned calls I deemed urgent or important, but if you leave a message that doesn't require a callback, than chances are that I won't call back. Generally in the morning, my ringer is turned off and I don't hear the phone ring, and I normally don't even check calls until I am out the door on my way to work. I apologize if you feel that I am ignoring you. That most certainly is NOT the case. Just ask your self for a moment, why I would do that?

I overall appreciate everything you do for me. You should be secure in knowing that while I might not have the opportunity to say that all the time that I do. IN the future when you have issues with something I have done or am about to do, I think it would be best that you address them right away. Letting things build up to the point of not speaking to someone is not healthy and completely unnecessary.

Ang - Well, I'm not going to write alot because I am leaving soon...but, it is not my fault that you have a $1300 tax bill... you did lend me $200 and if you are going to give me guilt trips about it even though you told me not to pay it back, i will pay it back to you next month. I'm pretty sure that some of that has been given back to you with the stuff I pick up at the store, buying dinner (for us once, and when we moved in for everyone, and the bills that i haven't put on the fridge including target which purchased dishwasher detergent, swiffer stuff, etc...) But whatever... I am just not going to pick all the stuff up all the time because I cant afford to front it all and wait til the end of the month... I know you like to see "results"..but i'm sure paying your tax bill is more important than a "cute" kitchen. About
the porn..I'm sorry if it was not a porn site and I accused you of it being one...I didnt look at it because I didnt want to.. BUT..it looks pretty shady with porn being in the name of the site..AND...me going out on friday and saturday nights.... do you realize I am a girl...and I dont pay for shit... I spent a total of $16 last weekend... I am getting a side-salad @
Kruse and Muer tonight for Bethanie's birthday because I dont want to be rude and not order.... I constantly look at my finances... I have alot more bills than you...believe me.. and my dad didnt pay off my debt...so, It just bothers me that I will buy "necessities" like food... and you think paint is a necessity...And I do feel that you ignore me...if you say you dont...then that is that...but..that is how it looks to me.

Jason - Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 14:27:07 -0500

This is getting ridiculous.

At one point are you going to talk directly to me? If these conversations have to take place in a childish manner over email than so be it - but it might be best if you address your issues with me directly.

Ang - I'm not the one who has initiated the email conversations both times. If you remember, it has been you. So, don't try to call me childish. And, if you have a question you should ask me, not Bethanie. You can't put her in the middle. It is not fair to her. You are the one who never replied to my last email, and didn't answer your phone when I called you last week and left you a message. I am basically just going to do my own thing. I did not agree to putting receipts up on the fridge and you paying me once a month. THe agreement was being paid back after you got paid (every 2 weeks).. I cannont afford to front everything. I was irritated that you go and purchase other "unnecessary" things like paint, when you havent taken care of the receipts on the fridge first.. Just because you go buy paint doesnt mean I will just deduct that from what you owe me. I dont have money for unneccessary things right now. February was a very tight month for money.. I feel like I just do too much for you and you dont appreciate it.
Why can't you stop and pick up things that we might need? Why can't you boil eggs once in a while? I do feel that you ignore me whether you technically "mean" it or not. Your friendship to me sometimes feels like it is a burden, or you have better things to do. If I invite you out, you tell me you have something to get done (your room)..then Jenny comes over and you dont do anything. If I ask you to do something, you can never give me a straight answer..as if you might have something better come up or a boy might call.. I dont feel like I can depend on you. This weekend, for instance... I know we were not speaking, but you had told me you would help me finish getting my dresser and patio set out of the old apt.. I didnt even get a phone call or email saying you couldnt help. You went out to Blakes party and didnt show up til saturday night... Then you are sick and can't show up for Bethanie's birthday.. I dont know how sick you are(were)...whatever... but I'm sure if it was some boys birthday you would have at least stopped by... With everything that Bethanie has done for you, ie: coming to your birthday when your other "so-called" friends didnt' show
up...and helping us both move ..... I would have thought you could have stopped by.... but, again I dont' know how sick you were....Maybe I would talk to you about things but just about 99% of the time I see you, you are on your phone talking to a new boy or Jenny... I am not going to compete to have a conversation with you... And again, the whole issue with you being negative about my interview was just unnecessary.. I know we are both unhappy with our current jobs, but if you got an interview I wouldn't tell you not to get your hopes up.. I have thought I "got the job" many times in the past, and I try not to get my hopes up all the time...I just dont need someone else to shoot the experience down for me because you have been denied before. I just thought living with you would be different than just "any old roommate"..but i guess I have to start looking at it that way... because being nice isn't doing anything for me but setting me back.

Jason - First of all - had it not been for the email that I originally sent to you, you would not have said a word to me. If you recall I was cordial and nice and asked “what’s up”. Out of the blue you responded with a whole slew of things personally attacking me. Instead of addressing these issues with me in person, you decided to do it over email. It would be best not to turn it around and say that I initiated the childish email argument. Now a days the only way you and I can effectively communicate (if you'd like to call it that) is through email. Considering you haven't spoken to me in over a week, I finally decided today that if the only way to get you to talk to me is through email that I would send you another message. Once again, you attack me with your pent up aggression and tear me down. If that makes you feel like a bigger, better person, than go right ahead. In the future I will just stop listening.

In regard to involving others (i.e. Bethanie), it appears that you have involved her in this as much as I have. Do NOT accuse me of doing wrong if you are doing the exact same thing. Last time I checked that pretty much defines the word hypocrite. Speaking of that, you expect me to bend over backwards for you, openly express my appreciation for the things you do for me (basically kiss your ass), etc., however when was the last time you thanked me for dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, etc.? Exactly - NEVER. That also makes you a hypocrite. Do onto others, as you would like them to do onto you. This is exactly why I have never brought that up. Unlike you, I realize that people are not perfect and that they make mistakes. Sometimes it is necessary to evaluate the situation and determine whether it is worth addressing certain issues, problems, discrepancies, etc. Maybe, just maybe, you should lower your expectations of me. Keep in mind that I am not your husband or your boyfriend. I am your roommate.

Whether or not you recall any of our previous conversations, I don't know. It seems that no matter how plainly I spell it out, you are not understanding, or even listening. Perhaps this is my fault, but when we have a discussion and we come to an agreement, I expect that when it comes time to go forward with what we discussed, you are prepared to live up to what we agreed to. No matter how much you deny that you didn't agree to the receipt thing, I know what we discussed because I am the one who proposed the idea to you. This isn't the first time this has happened, since there are other conversations that you don't recall either. You have quite the selective memory, especially when it comes to financial issues. I think the main problem is that we discuss something and you agree to it, and then you get upset with me in the aftermath because it doesn't work out perfect for you. You should NOT be upset with me over things like that. More so, if you are upset and you choose not to talk to me that should not be my fault either. When you have a problem in a relationship of any kind, you need to learn how to effectively communicate whatever issues you have. As you may have noticed letting things build up to the point of explosion does not work. Not only does it not work, but it also leaves the other person dumbfounded and confused.

According to your email (and in relation to the previous paragraph), you accuse me of having a lack of appreciation for the wonderful things you do for me (a.k.a. grocery shopping, boiling eggs, etc.). What you failed to mention (or failed to recall) is that we also had the conversation that it would be best for you to do the grocery shopping because of your specific diet needs, time, etc. So once again, you address an issue that we have already had a discussion about. You also insinuate that I've never picked anything up from the store, which is incorrect. In relation to lack of appreciation, when was the last time you thanked me for anything I do? You haven't... so. Did I freak out on you, blow it way out of proportion, involve our mutual friends and make an ass out of myself? No. Maybe it is time for both of us to relax and realize that neither one of us are perfect. As the old saying goes, "he is who without sin shall cast the first stone".

I also noticed in your email that you address issues with my dating and social life. Are you my mother? My father? A legal guardian of mine? NO. So when exactly did it become ANY of your business what I do in my spare time, or furthermore how I spend my money? I don't involve myself in your personal life, except for where I am welcomed, nor do I stick my nose in your finances. Yes, I date. Yes, I chat with my friends. Yes, I spend MY money. Generally, I hang out with quality people who appreciate me for who I am and who don't persecute me for subject matter, or to be more specific tell me how embarrassing I am. You've hurt my feeling on several occasions where you have told me how obnoxious and embarrassing I am. You’ve also said hurtful things to other mutual friends of ours as well. I'm sorry to bring down your social standing - I didn't realize that you had so many people to impress. I guess the only answer to appease you is to alter my personality and change who I am. Would that make you happy?

It is apparent to me that you have social issues. You place an extreme value on how many friends you have, versus the quality of the friendships - at least in my opinion. On many occasions you bring up the fact that you have more friends and you have "better friends" etc. and that I have "so-called" friends. I have a select few very close friends that I spend a majority of my time with. Aside from that, I have another group of friends and acquaintances that I "hang-out" with. The select friends include people like Blake, Jenny and John, which I am sure that you have noticed that I spend a lot of time with them (in person or on the phone). These are the people that have been there through thick and thin - people I couldn't live without. I am sorry that you were under the impression that by us moving in together that we would become inseparable. It would have been great for that to happen, but to be honest, you've never proven to me that you would
be there through thick and thin. I've always cherished our friendship, but you and I do not, and more than likely will never, have the relationship that I have with my very close friends. In many ways I feel that you don't approve of my lifestyle, my friends, my conversation topics, etc. I feel there are too many things that you want me to change about myself in order to be your "friend". I will not change myself for anyone - unless I initiate the change to better myself.

In relation to Bethanie's party, that is between Bethanie and I, not between you and I. I think it takes a lot of balls for you to accuse me (which you are very good at doing, especially with things you know nothing about) of something that I did not intentionally do.

How dare you accuse me of not being a good friend?

Oh, and by the way, my dating life is none of your fucking business and isn't for you to judge. I didn’t judge you when your bedroom door was revolving from guest to guest. Your bed of debauchery is obviously held up by your moral high horses. We've had friendly conversations about what both of us are looking for, so you of all people should understand where I am coming from. Considering that since we moved in together, I’ve only slept with one person, you have a lot of room to point fingers. Remember when you point a finger, there three fingers pointing back at you.

I won't even address the interview situation, because it is so silly to be upset about. Sorry I hurt your feelings. No scratch that... I won't apologize for your oversensitive feelings... I will apologize for trying to be a realistic friend. I didn't realize that a requirement of our friendship was blowing smoke up one another's ass.

Please... don't overextend yourself being nice. It isn't necessary. I'd hate to set you back any farther, considering you have such a long way to go. Good luck.

Also, if you expect me to initiate conversation you are wrong. You started this mess and I expect you to resolve it. I’m opening the door for your apology.

The End

So, there is where it stands. After reading my last email she approached me (finally getting enough balls to speak directly to me) and told me that her "worst enemy" wouldn't say that type of stuff to her. She also mentioned that we are now only acquaintances and that what is her's is no longer mine. Whatever. Last night when I returned home she took back things she let me borrow and was "courteous" enough to turn off all the lights, even though we always leave the one by the front door on.

In addition to her response to me... Angie also had this conversation with a VERY good friend of mine that I introduced her to. Funny how she doesn't want to get our "friends" involved... makes one wonder how valid that statement she made really was? It also makes one wonder how valid any of her other statements are? Maybe her lack of carbohydrates is going to her head. It took her exactly two minutes in this AIM conversation to bring it up. Interesting how her and "Larry" haven't spoken in weeks (she even mentions that at 8:47pm - one minute into the conversation - without first even asking how his trip is going. Selfish "fill in the blank").

*** [8:46 PM]: hey hottie
DiVitski78 [8:46 PM]: hi
DiVitski78 [8:46 PM]: how are you
*** [8:46 PM]: I'm doing great... how are you
DiVitski78 [8:47 PM]: i'm fine...just busy...sorry i havent called in a couple weeks
DiVitski78 [8:47 PM]: i'm sure ur having fun tho
*** [8:47 PM]: yeah... I've been real busy.... a lot of things to do out here... I've been looking for a job out here
DiVitski78 [8:48 PM]: that is way cool
DiVitski78 [8:48 PM]: well, you were right
*** [8:48 PM]: right about what
DiVitski78 [8:48 PM]: jason and i shouldnt have moved in together
*** [8:48 PM]: i've been there
DiVitski78 [8:48 PM]: we have been arguing..
DiVitski78 [8:48 PM]: im sure you have
DiVitski78 [8:49 PM]: but tonight he emailed me things that my worst enemy wouldn't have said...so i want nothing to do with him anymore
*** [8:49 PM]: wow
DiVitski78 [8:49 PM]: he took things and blew them way out of proportion, got mad and said things that he can never take back
*** [8:50 PM]: wow
*** [8:50 PM]: I don't know what to say
DiVitski78 [8:50 PM]: its okay...no biggie... you warned me
DiVitski78 [8:51 PM]: i'm never home anyway...oh well..
***[8:51 PM]: i warned the both of you... I've been there
*** [8:51 PM]: its not the best feeling
***[8:51 PM]: and its not the best living arrangements
DiVitski78 [8:51 PM]: yeah..i know..i have been there before too in college...i just never thought it would come from jason
*** [8:52 PM]: well... its something we all go through
*** [8:52 PM]: just do your own thing and be mature about it... if you have to, bite your tounge
***[8:53 PM]: or be the better person
DiVitski78 [8:53 PM]: i know..i'm just going to go about my own life... do my own thing
DiVitski78 [8:53 PM]: thanks for being cool bout it
***[8:54 PM]: well.. I hate conflict
DiVitski78 [8:55 PM]: i know...just stay out of the middle... be neutral and it will keep you out of it
DiVitski78 [8:55 PM]: issues
***[8:56 PM]: thats between you and Jason
DiVitski78 [8:56 PM]: i agree...
*** [8:56 PM]: just don't do anything I wouldn't do
DiVitski78 [8:56 PM]: that isnt much sweetheart
DiVitski78 [8:56 PM]: hahahahaa
*** [8:56 PM]: lol
*** [8:57 PM]: well.. just be the better person... be nice and mature about everthing...
DiVitski78 [8:57 PM]: i will..to an extent... i'm not going to be mean or immature...just going to do what is best for me
***[8:58 PM]: as far as finances... have it in writing
DiVitski78 [8:58 PM]: all we have is rent, cable, and electric
DiVitski78 [8:59 PM]: not too bad
*** [8:59 PM]: then your all set. any living issues. address them once a month... set a date where you can both sit down and address issues
DiVitski78 [9:00 PM]: if i had money i'd hire u as my personal assistant
DiVitski78 [9:00 PM]: ;-)
***[9:00 PM]: if things bother you. write them down and when your meeting comes up monthly... address them then
*** [9:00 PM]: he he he
DiVitski78 [9:01 PM]: good ideas.... but i dont think we will be speaking any time soon... it'll probablly be notes...
*** [9:01 PM]: well do it once a month
DiVitski78 [9:02 PM]: i'm not trying to be difficult...he just took it way too far
*** [9:02 PM]: that way... you guys aren't at each other daily
***[9:02 PM]: just once a month
DiVitski78 [9:02 PM]: did you read his email?
*** [9:02 PM]: yep
DiVitski78 [9:02 PM]: nuff said
DiVitski78 [9:03 PM]: it's done
DiVitski78 [9:03 PM]: well i have to go to bed...gotta be up in 6 hours for work
*** [9:04 PM]: ok
*** [9:04 PM]: have a good night
*** [9:04 PM]: well... things happen...
DiVitski78 [9:04 PM]: true...good night
DiVitski78 is away at 9:05 PM

I'd love to hear your comments. I'm looking for some good words to fill in the blanks with. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... help. I'm just not sure what to write in those empty spots (I guess I am just toooo BOY CRAZY to think straight)!


Ohhh... BIG HUGZ and Kisses to "The Boy I am Crazy for". You know who you are!




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Question, Comments, or Just Plain Bitching?

Tailgating at UofM is far different from the tailgating at MSU. Still fun - but not quite as fabulous. Saturday morning I got up at a grueling 7:45 am. YUCK. I was a little nervous because my dad was picking me up at 8:30 and he can be such a crab ass. Sometimes I think my dad is bi-polar only because one minute he is in such a good mood and other times he can be a real prick. Yesterday was a good day for him - thus making it a good day for all!

So pops picked me up at 8:40 - he was a bit late. We then started our trek over to A2. It was quite a journey. I felt like a real pimp in the 'Sedan Deville' (as all the old people call them). We got there at about 9:40 or so (however if I were driving we would have been there at about 9:25). I must say though that my dad looks nice driving in a Caddie... I think an STS would be more appropriate though. We called Larisa and let her know we were arriving and she met us outside in this fabulous pink bathrobe with palm trees on it. Such a trooper. Wet hair and all - she still looks gorgeous. We proceeded to the dorm room. I didn't get a chance to help decorate this year like I did last. Can we say disappointment? I figure she's all grown up now and can handle these things on her own. PLUS - I was on vacation at the time. I must say that I was quite impressed... cute, cute and more cute were my initial thoughts. Dad and I tinkered around a bit while Larisa was getting ready (as you may have guessed running late does not pertain to our family... we are ALWAYS on time!!!)

Being back in a dorm was such a glorious experience. It always makes me really horny. Thinking of all the sex and masturbation that occurs... sometimes all I can think about it how many hot young college boys I could please in one afternoon. God... I wish I were back in school. I'd play the game differently this time around!!!

So we left the dorm, validated dad's football ticket and we headed over to Larisa's boyfriend's house in the student ghetto. Of course when we got there, he was already half in the bag. We got there just in time to pick up a few drinks and head over to the tailgating fun with his parents. At this point, it was a bit chilly outside but tolerable. We couldn't have asked for a better tailgating game. I even wore blue in the spirit of UofM (aren't I a good brother?)

Can I just tell you how funny Brandon's parents are? These people are a friggin riot! We had so much fun with them. They are just silly. Of course we got a bunch of free goodies (including sausage - my personal favorite). Free beer is the best though. They live on a farm so they grow tons of fresh vegetables, they even kill their own deer... we got to eat so much sausage it was crazy. Talk about a true sausage fest. This is before we even made it to the game! LOL.

My father was being so hilarious - just going with the flow. He even cracked a few jokes along the way. We totally bonded. It was a really neat experience. The difference between UofM tailgating and MSU tailgating is they have bathroom trailers... instead of rows of rotting Port-O-Johns. Did I eve mention I went to highschool with a girl whose dad was THE Port-O-John man? Cool huh? She definitely caught a lot of 'shit' from us. LMAO - no tips, please!

Yeah MSU tailgaters party all in one place... UofM tailgaters are mostly alumni on the fields and in the parking lots... all of the students party at the homes in the ghetto. Speaking of Ghetto, the students have a street where there are what seem like hundreds of shoes hanging from the powerlines and telephone lines. My dad was so fascinated that he took a panoramic shot of the street. We had a good laugh over that one. Yeah, so the real tailgaters at UofM are the alumni... they know how to do it in style. There are friggin motor homes and shit with these enormous grills - full bars set up. We got to experience this shit LIVE. Brandon's father was telling us that his brothers parking spot which is right outside of the stadium entrance is $20,000 for the season!!! Can you imagine? They have a rectangle the size of six parking spots (3 wide... two deep)... that is a lot of money. Apparently his company pays for it. Shit I only wish I had that kind of money to spend. Crazy.

The game was cool - it was the first college football game that I have ever attended. I was at State for three years and never stepped foot inside of the stadium... that is until after I graduated and went with Brad for the 'Cold War'. The place is huge.... no wonder they call it the 'Big House'. Of course everyone in the stadium sits except for those in the student section... we were three seats in the student section.... and we had to stand the entire time. UofM won... of course we left at the end of the third quarter... our feet were tired. Besides the obnoxious guy screaming obscenities behind us was beginning to get a little annoying. The highlight of the game though, was when someone threw a football in the crowd and it hit a bitch cop right in the back of the head. he he he Ohhhh yeah, and the wave. It went around the stadium atleast six times in full action. We had it going slow, fast, regular pace, backwards, forwards and even in both directions. This is how you know that everyone is bored with the game.... The Wave. What a phenomenon!

After the game was over (or atleast over for us) we headed back to the tailgate site where it all began. When we returned Brandon's folks were back and drinking again. So of course... we indulged too. I must say it was weird having dad, Larisa and I drinking together. My sister the connoisseur was even drinking the wretched dark beer. OMG... what happened to my little sister??

OMG... I almost forgot my life changing experience of the day. SO there we are, eating sausage... and Larisa says, "you guys have to try these yummy little peppers". Of course not thinking that my conniving little sister would trick me, I ate the pepper. It wasn't hot at first... then about thirty seconds later my jaw almost burned right off my face. I was dancing around like a fairy.... spitting, hacking, dying for a drink. I was sucking on an ice cube, my nose was running, my eyes were tearing up... I was a mess. The thing is my dad and I LOVE Thai food, HOT Thai food and we were dying. My dad was a trooper. He held it in, but man, I was about to pass out. It eventually subsided... however I think Christmas is coming soon and I think Larisa will be getting a 'nice little' gift....

So after we completed the tailgating adventure for the day we ventured back to Brandon's house. Yet another difference between EL and A2 is that in EL you can drink on campus... in A2, you can't. I should have gotten busted for walking down the street with an open beer, but I managed to escape the authorities. My dad wasn't so lucky... later in the day he got stopped by a copper. When they asked him to pour out the beer, he stated "there is only a little left". My sister was like "just pour it out dad, we'll get you another one". LOL We walked away unscathed. Can you imagine if my dad get arrested? he he he. Speaking of getting arrested, my dad shared some great stories about previous college experiences of his - including when he got busted for drinking, barfed in the back of a police car, barfed in jail and fell in it, and the best part was my grandfather having to pick him up smelling like Liza Minnelli after a binge night. My sister and I had a good laugh over that one.

So back at Brandon's... the streets were covered with drunken students playing football. Covered like "flies on shit" as my dad would say. WE decided after a few rounds of bumper pool that we would play a joke on the drunk college kids. We sent my sister (in all of her fabulousness) across the road with a stalk of those peppers. She advised the boys that she would loan them her football to play with if they would try one of her peppers... they were reluctant at first, but when she said "if you were a real man, you'd eat one"... that got the boys stirring in their cargo pants. You haven't seen anything funnier than a bunch of macho acting straight men dying from a hot pepper the size of a toothpick. It was great. We had about ten people on the porch watching and laughing at these 'fools'. It was great to see someone else suffer from the intense pain.

After a couple more drinks and a few more laughs we headed off to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner with Brandon's family and all of us. It was a nice time. They really are great people. Of course they couldn't stop teasing me about the hot pepper incident. We got a nice big photo of all of us together... can we say Christmas Card? LOL

Dad and I drove home peacefully - all I wanted was a nap. As soon as I got home I passed out with a headache the size of Japan, and a sunburn equally as horrific (who thinks to wear sunscreen outside when it is 60 degrees?) I was supposed to go out with J.Ro, but I woke up from my nap too late, plus my headache was still in existence. Instead I got up watched some 'Queer Five', read my new book "Cocktails for Wimps" and eventually went to bed with some NyQuil help. What a good day.

YIKES... three minutes til quitting time. Tomorrow I have to tell you all about Tim.... the new hottie in my life. Yummm. You go fashion boy.

J

Since when did it become cool to call people, chief? I was in the bathroom yesterday and some guy was like "what's up chief? First of all, I don't want to be talked to when I am peeing, and second of all, I don't know you, and even if I did I wouldn't allow you to call me chief, so don't. That and don't call me "buddy". Yeah, he was also like - "Have a good day, buddy". OMG... why don't you also call me pal. While you're at it, slap my ass and call me Mary. Damn.

I hate lawyers. Those bastards think they know everything. I've said this before and I'll say it again... anybody who thinks they can successfully sue General Motors for something so ridiculous as a cellular phone issue, is insane, stupid and outright retarded. You'll never win. Don't threaten me with your lame lawsuits if you can't stick to your word. I'll believe it when I see it. BRING IT ON... Bring it on. You'll lose before you even file the initial paperwork. The judge will laugh in your face (kind of like when Carol tried to beat me in court - TAKE THAT WHORE). I think that would make great reality TV... maybe I should contact ABC, CBS, NBC and possibly MTV.

I came up with a really good idea for a reality TV show... take a terminally ill patient who is going to die soon, and have a reality show based on the last couple months of their life. The final episode would be the funeral. I thought to add a nice twist and to build a positive image for the network would be for the network to pay for the patient to live out a dream of theirs before they die and then after the death set up a scholarship fund in the patient's name. It seems to be a slightly morbid idea - BUT I think a TON of people would watch. Talk about a moneymaker. If you know any network executives, let me know... I'd like to submit the idea.

So... guess what? As a Spartan, I want everyone to know that I am invading the UofM stadium tomorrow for a football game. I thought about wearing Green and White but I fear for my life. I've been told that I must wear Maize and Blue (thankfully yellow looks great on me!!!) We are making it a family day, so my dad and I are going to visit Larisa at school. Tailgating with my dad should be interesting. Lord knows I've definitely had some interesting experiences in the past with my father and my sister. LOL

I talked to Gary last night and that prick already knows what he is going to be for Halloween. I promised to keep it a big dark secret... ha ha ha. Only Justin and I know.... As we all know Gary so well... this costume won't surprise you at all. You'll laugh your ass off (maybe shed a tear or two)... now it is my mission to find something as equally as fabulous. We played this game once before... luckily showing up in a tiger dress with heels, beat out Waldo (although Gary did look just like Waldo... odd, isn't it?) I LOVE HALLOWEEN! It really is the only time of the year (generally speaking) that you find straight men dressing up as women.... gender mix-ups. Reminds me of tailgating.

Speaking of gender mix-ups... here is my article that I wrote for SW (since we'll now never see it in print):

Where does the sanity start and the insanity stop? This past week has certainly made me think about life, the pursuit of happiness and how straight people fit into the gay lifestyle.

My adventure began when some friends and I traveled to West Virginia to go White Water Rafting. I definitely had some outrageous adventures during my travels, however my story of the week involves lust and a straight man.

Rafting is such an interesting activity. It seems innocent from a distance, but closer observation proves that shit can annihilate you. Your life flashes before your eyes, and just when you think you are going to be sucked in and lost forever, the ride is over until the next relationship...I mean rapid. People seem so cute and innocent from a distance but give it a couple weeks, maybe a few months, and in the end those cute innocent people are dangerous...just like the rapids. Especially when they end up being straight!

So there I was, amidst a bunch of guys, their girlfriends, and one lesbian. Fearing that the closest hospital was hundreds of miles away, I decided to play it safe. That is until I spotted Greg. Being the most attractive specimen in sight, I found it necessary to lure him to our table, (which was quite successful). Through undisclosed measures, I discovered where my "weekend treat" resided and I proceeded to plot my "attack". Email was determined as the weapon of choice. You can imagine my surprise when my infiltration was victorious. I attempted to play it straight all this week through our various emails and conversations. My goal was so to discover if the straight man was really a fag in disguise without revealing my true identity. When I was sure I nailed him - I was going to nail him. Come to find out he knew I was gay all along. WTF? If the guy is straight, why is he interested in me?

This situation with Greg, has rendered a lot of discussion between my close friends and I. The consensus is that he is, without question, a closeted homosexual. Why else would he be talking to suc a (stunning) queer? I have thought about this extensively, and I've begun to wonder why we place so much emphasis on sexuality. Is it really important to determine who is gay and who is straight, or even plot to discover what peoples preferences are? I have found myself really enjoying the conversations I have over the past week with Greg, and at this point, I could care less whether or not he is straight. I've made a good friend and I can't be more thankful that I've found a "straight" guy who is willing to try and understand where gay guys are coming from. Greg has taught me a lot about myself this past week, especially how sexuality is not as important as friendship, and that I should never hide who I really am, because who am I fooling?

Maybe one day I'll be able to write again.... for now I'll just entertain everyone with this journal.

Ahh... email. I love getting it (like sex), but I never get enough of it (again, like sex). Email flirtation is fun. I'm chatting with this sassy boy from Toledo who appears to have this thing about calling first. What is with that? I guess I grew up with balls (not to say that he doesn't have any). I've never had a problem being the first to do anything. Hell, ask anyone, I'm usually the first to remove my clothes at parties. I have nothing to hide. I'm me and that is all that counts right? Life is about risk sometimes. If you never take any risks, how will you ever become fabulous? The answer is.... NEVER. You will never be fabulous. Enjoy yourself. Life is good.

OMG - here is a great question? Why is it that every guy I meet either thinks I am a bottom, or assumes I am one? I suppose I could take it as a compliment that so many people are interested in ass ramming me, however the downside is that I am not a bottom. I can count on one hand how many times I've been invaded and I don't plan on having that extend to a second hand any time soon. So..... to all you men out there reading this interested in fucking me.... Get over it. I'll let you know when the time is right. Honestly, I don't really even like anal sex. I much prefer oral. Getting good head is better than anything in this world. What good is a gay man that doesn't like to give head? Basically, you are a waste of a good orifice. LOL

Ladies and Gents... the ranting is over. I'll return on Sunday with another edition of "Tailgate" - UofM style.

J

Now I know why old men drink Scotch. I am guessing after years of drinking vodka and rum, you've got to move on to bigger and questionably 'better' things. Last night J. Ro. and I went to a Johnnie Walker Scotch tasting event at the Ritz Carlton in Dearborn. What a blast we had... of course we both gagged several times.

We'll start in the order that the events occurred for yesterday (and part of Tuesday night).

Tuesday night I got out of work and went straight to Meijer. I wanted to get some 'goodies' for my evening of video viewing with Nick. I picked up a few things (since I didn't have much time, or much funding) and proceeded to the check out. Mind you, it was 10:45, maybe 10:50 at night. I get to the check out line and there are three registers open and probably thirty people waiting - WTF. So naturally with only three items I proceed to the "fast lane". OF COURSE, some damn fool has an entire cart load of shit - HELLO EXPRESS LANE ASSHOLE. If I were that cashier, I would have told that dumbass to get his shit off my 'rolly thing' and get back in the cart load line down the aisle. PRICK.

Nothing more to report from Tuesday evening -aside from I missed my first episode of Nip/Tuck. Son of a bitch. The damn president screwed things up again - ASSHOLE. I'm sure I'll catch it in a re-run. All the real fun happened early Wednesday morning. ;-)

Wednesday morning I got up and went over to the rents to do my daily cleaning. The place is really shaping up - FINALLY after how many years? My parents are two people that really do need a housekeeper. I must say that I am really impressed with my work. LOL.

The plan for the entire day was that Jenny and I were going to meet up at 7:30 and head over to the Ritz.... as we all know, the best plans are meant to fail. We ended up not joining company until almost 8. I had to get ready so fast, it was incredible. I didn't have a chance to shave or anything - such a tragedy. I am pretty sure that I pulled off the hot, I didn't shave today look - at least I convinced myself that I did. LOL So I rushed out the door, looking like hot shit and raced in the horrific rainstorm to meet Jenny in Royal Oak.

I picked up J. Ro, with the tank almost on E, and off to Dearborn we drove. It was quite an experience for Jenny, considering she had never been on the Southfield Freeway before (and had only been to Dearborn once as a Girl Scout) he he he Of course we got lost trying to find the Ritz... my dad gave me a shitty map instead of the MapQuest directions I requested from him... BLAH. We eventually found it. The Ritz Carlton is kind of buried deep in the Town Centre.

Okay, let's talk about how gorgeous this hotel is. OMG... ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!! Jenny and I had to valet Jinx... just had to. How can you go the Ritz and not valet? When we got inside there were sooo many people there for this event. The guy in front of us was a total jackass. He was really nosy and a big fat know-it-all. Fuck off, dipshit. This is the Ritz and you're ruining how fabulous this experience is. Some people have a lot of nerve. After about a ten-minute wait we got up to the front of the line, only to find out, they were only letting in three more people after us. How lucky were we? Phew.

At first when we stepped into the event - we thought "is this event really in this little hallway?" It was kind of scary. A hundred plus people were packed in to this tiny hallway. All I could think was "is this all they can afford here at the Ritz?" J. Ro. and I decided to squeeze our way up to the bar - only to be interrupted by the dickhead we had to stand behind for ten minutes. "Excuse me", he said. "The line is BEHIND me". Whatever fuckstick... when was the last time you were at a 'real' bar? There is no line. Whoever can manage to squeeze to the front first, gets a drink first. Jenny and I got behind the idiot anyway. The funniest thing though, was when we got up to the front of the line, we had no idea what to order... neither one of us had ever drank Scotch before. Then what happens? Jenny says to the bartender.... "is this stuff vodka, like what is it?" I think the bartender was really confused...even more hilarious is that both of us were too. I never knew the difference between Scotch and Whiskey... I thought they were one in the same... ahhh... they are, but there is a difference. It is technically Scotch Whiskey....made in Scotland. But Scotch is Whiskey... but Scotch is Scottish Whiskey... (more to come on that later in the journal).

Jenny and I got Whiskey sours and bolted out of that room in a flash. Time for a well-deserved cigarette break. While exiting we ran into some high schools peeps of Jenny's. Nice guys - slightly handsome. We then headed for the lobby. Now let me ask you this.... How many people do you know that have gotten busted for smoking at the Ritz Carlton? Now you know one (possibly two).... Apparently you can't smoke in the lobby. Ooops.

After our little 'incident' we headed back to the 'party'. When we returned the hallway was empty and a ballroom was filled with tables, people and enough Scotch shots to kill a small army. HOLY SHIT. Jenny and I unfortunately because of our tardiness were forced to sit separately. Funny thing is, that one of us almost had to sit next to Mr. FuckStick. Thanks to Garrett for resolving that crisis (of course we didn't warn him in advance). LOL I had the pleasure of sitting next to Mr. Ghetto fabulous and a yuppie couple. Jenny got her own row (well kind of ... she had to share with the 'kilt' man!) They did this neat presentation on Whiskey and how it is produced - then the tasting started. Holy crap. I thought I was going to gag every time I smelled the shit. Thank god, I have a cold, otherwise I may have barfed. The lady kept talking about 'legs' and smelling the aromatic flavors... OMG. All I could smell was whiskey. I don't know how anyone could have smelled trees, flowers, figs, or ice cream... whateva. At one point she even mentioned Band-Aids... I was like 'what?'. I actually finished all the shots but one (there were five to begin with). Jenny didn't finish any... I think she would have rather licked snatch, or sweaty ballsack. LOL I was the true 'survivor'.

After drinking all that whiskey, we retired to the Ritz Carlton bar. Talk about a scene. We sat down and decided to order drinks... of course not knowing how expensive they were. LOL. You only live once right? Jenny's drink came in a very slick tilted glass.... A true mind game for a drunk customer. The base literally was tilted a 30 degree angle... too fun. My martini was awesome... it was like drinking water after all that booze. We were both pretty tipsy when we left. The true highlight of the evening was our drive home.

As I've mentioned many times before - Jenny and I have a blast together. As our valet showed up with the Grandest of Am's out there... we drove away feeling like princesses. Jenny made the comment that if she were a hooker, she's hook at the Ritz. That girl's got CLASS! Our main goal was to find a gas station, because I personally was not interested in reliving my past experience when I ran out of gas with Brutis in the dead of winter in Brighton (try pushing that monster by yourself while Hootch is laughing at you - I thought I was going to DIE). Luckily we found a station and pulled off or gas.

On the trip home Jenny and I decided to duet a Jewel song... actually a few of them. We decided to shake things up a bit and I would sing the soprano part and she would sing the bass part. OMG. Talk about a friggin funny scene.... Our voices were cracking left and right, and at one point, I was hitting some opera shit. When we finally got back to Jenny's car - I had a lot of "scotch" to discard... conveniently there was a nice bush right next to me.... I watched the traffic drive by on Main Street in Royal Oak, while I graced the Market/Sushi sign with my urine. What an end to a fine evening.

Ahhh... but it wasn't the end. I stopped at Taco Bell on the way home...yummm. After a night of Scotch drinking what could be better than a ripe, juicy, Gordita? Maybe a Filet Mignon, or a Salmon Steak... but with five dollars you take what you can get. I was trying to talk to Nick on the phone, drive the car and deep throat a taco... try it sometime.

Just when I sat down to 'dinner', Hootch called. She was in the neighborhood and wanted to drop in with her friend from work. Company... how fun! It was good to see Hootch... I hadn't seen her since our trip up to John's cottage. Hootch was a little tipsy too... life is good. After far too much of "Me, myself and Irene" I went to bed.

OMG - Jenny just called me about America's Funniest Home Videos... my favorite one of all time involves a Kangaroo who sneeks up behind this guy who is peering off into a lake, and just jumps up in the air and with both feet just kick him right square in the ass - right in to the water. Funny Shit. Thanks J. Ro for the smile!!!

Well, I am off for the evening... until next time - remember to have your pets spayed or neutered.

J

I can't seem to understand why I am having these bizarre dreams. I keep dreaming about my old boss (that wicked bitch of the East Maple). She keeps popping into my dreams (nightmares with her) as this sweet innocent character desperately trying to get on my good side. What is that all about? That bitch can rot in hell... She offers me jobs, talks sweet to me... Although last night she appeared as this wretched fat hog, with bad make-up and poor attire. Ohh yeah, I haven't seen her in so long that I forgot she looks just like that! BITCH. I just wish she would find someone else to haunt.

I also keep having dreams about forgetting my lines. I'm in these plays, but in every single dream, I am about to go on stage and I can't remember a single one of my lines. In most cases I am not even in costume. Very weird. I know these dreams have to mean something, I just don't know what yet. The dream book that Jenny got me didn't seem to help much.

OMG - so guess who emailed me today? Jordan... whoah. I never thought he would write back. The intent of my email was just to let him know that everything was set up successfully with his OnStar system and to apologize for the long delay in getting to XM radio (something I would have done for any customer - of course I did mention in closing that I was a fan, he he he). Being a nice person pays off in the end - he wrote back and asked how I knew who he is.... of course I couldn't help but respond (in what was my best attempt at keeping it professional - I could so get fired for emailing a subscriber, especially such a prestigious celebrity as Jordan Pundik!) Wouldn't it be awesome if we became email pals or something? Better yet if I got invited to a concert front row or some shit like that? With my luck - something like that would never happen. Ohh well, we can all dream right?

Speaking of dreams - I can't help but try and convince myself that one day I'll be rid of this crappy good for nothing but income job of mine. It has been four weeks since my interview with WWJ, no response from Stephanie at Hewlett Packard (an old client of mine from C. Lewis, that I hopefully is doing an auto show event this year that I could get her back as a client). Sometimes I just can't win. Kind of like my experience with Scene Weekly... it was over before it ever began. Looks like it was never intended for me to be a writer after all. I've gotten many compliments on my journal and I seem to have a little bit of a following. Maybe one day I'll write a book after all - even better become the sex columnist I've always dreamed about being! LOL Dreams. It's great to have them, isn't it?

So the plans are officially under way for Halloween. It is such a major decision deciding what to be for the Hallo festivities... every year I try and plan something cool, and every year I never end up with much of anything. I'll have to think of something awesome. Lord knows I can't be La Tigra again.... I think I've put on 20 pounds since that dress (although I must say that I look even more fabulous now... it's all muscle folks, really it is! ;-) Besides, I'm a much better looking blonde! Speaking of that... Brad still has my heels. Bastard. Apparently Greg and my sister have been chatting about this already, so I am guessing that I will just have to go with the flow on this one. We are definitely tailgating at MSU on November 1 (the big MSU vs. UofM game)... so we may go up to state on Friday night and party, if we find or know of something awesome, otherwise we'll all go out with Larisa and party it up at her place of residence (A2, BLAH). She is the hook-up so we will undoubtedly have a really fun time. I can't wait. If you have any ideas on costume suggestions, please let me know...

So, I just got back from my lunch break. As always, some random asshole almost ran into me. I swear, I think people who drive like shit, purposely aim for the new cars. You can always tell the dumb ass MF's who drive like shit from the "good" drivers, by the number of dents on their vehicles. This guy more than likely thought he is the shit because he drives a Jaguar. Too bad it is a Jag from the 80's, it is missing a taillight and is a horrible color. Some people, I swear. He probably hooks women by saying he has a Jag... I'd run like hell personally. Also, when did UPS trucks become so damn ugly? They look like little flying brown bugs... hideous. Just repulsive. Come on... your corporate color is already shit brown... do we really need your vehicles looking like dung beetles? I think the "Queer Five" should make over UPS next.

So, the yummilicious, extremely gorgeous, and undeniably HOT Nick is coming over tonight after I get out of work (is that good enough for you Nick?) We are going to watch some good old comedic movies and hope to god that I don't get him sick. I'm feeling much better today. I didn't even need to take any decongestants today... It must have been only a 48 thing. YAY!

Ta Ta for now... more news to report tomorrow (hopefully!) ;-)

J

So I wasn't going to write today, but now I have a reason to....
Has anyone ever heard of the band "New Found Glory"? I just enrolled Jordan Pundik's vehicle.... OMG. I've never talked to a celebrity at work before, and despite my sickness right now, I am ecstatic. I am an instant fan. This guy is only twenty and is driving this pimped out truck. One day I'm going to see him on that MTV car show... lol. I went searching online and he's been on MTV Cribs and all that shit.... OMG.... I'm freaking out. If I am freaking out this badly over someone I barely have even heard of (since I am so bad with names), although I certainly know his band... can you imagine if I got Madonna? Ohhhh, lord.... I'd probably have an orgasm. Maybe one day I can be a punk pop star too.... I'd have a big party and invite everyone!!!

Nothing much to report today... I've been working and I'm sick with a rotten cold. I went to Meijer last night and bought some no-name brand Nyquil and DayQuil... this shit really does work. Not to mention I was able to sleep almost 12 hours with no interruptions. I just can't WAIT to get to bed tonight....

I feel like everyone is shopping at the grocery store when I call - kind of like when I call my mom (bio-mom) she always has to take a shit. I can't figure it out. It is like I have some kind of natural "cleansing" power... hopefully I don't have that effect on other people. Most people say I am "full of shit" so obviously it doesn't work on me. LOL

Back to the grocery thing... I called Jenny yesterday, she was at the store. I called Linda (hootch) today and she was at the grocery store. A majority of the time when I call Ang she is at the grocery store... am I missing something? Since when did grocery shopping become so popular? I thought it was a lost art.... everybody eats out I thought... hummmm. What do I know? I guess I'll have to start shopping for "goods" more often.

15 minutes to go at work... thank you god. thank you. I need to get out of here so I can make some phone calls that I haven't been able to return. Sorry everyone.... I'll get on it, pronto.

I still have yet to hear back from the interview I went on (four weeks will be this Thursday). The lady won't return my emails either (I've only sent one... I'll have to send yet another follow-up on Thursday). Bullshit is what it is. I don't seem to understand why people can't respond to a simple email... I guess I can't bitch too much, because sometimes it takes me a few days to respond... but at least I eventually respond. Ohh well. I can only keep my fingers crossed at this point. XXX

Well, I'm out of here in just a few minutes... I think I just coughed up a lung. GROSS. NyQuil, here I come!!!

J

Well well well...

Of course on Friday I worked all day. I was feeling a slight bit nervous only because I was going on my first date in months on Friday night. The boy = Nick. I like Nick. ;-) I got out of work at the usual time - thankfully. I went home, took a shower, changed and waited for the boy to arrive. He was late... but right on time (he got there just as I was finishing up my hair). We decided to head over to Dave and Buster's for an evening of "adult games". I love going to D&B's. It is such a great date place only because there is so much to do and you can't not have fun... it is impossible. All of my dates there have been successful... We arrived, had some cocktails, and then the games began.

First off, anyone who knows me knows that I adore car games... I love the thrill of driving, speed, excitement, etc. Just ask Mark, Leda and Lori about the car ride home from West Virginia... motor homes can't stop me!!!! So we played some games including my favorite - The Semi Truck game. That thing rocks da house. I’m getting better at it the more I play... one of these days I'll make it to Los Angeles! LOL. We also played the horse game - which is friggin hard. If you haven't worked out recently DON'T under any circumstances try and "ride" those horses... holy crap. I warned Nick about the game first... I don't think he believed me until I practically saw him hyper-ventilating after he lost the race... I on the other hand - had a photo finish (damn "Peach Fuzz"... she lost by a nose to some other bitch ass horse).

We played for a few hours, drank a couple really good drinks and finally were given the boot when they closed. On the way out the door, who did I spy... none other than the editor of Scene Weekly (or atl east a very good look-a-like). I don't forget faces, especially when I am physically attracted to them. I pointed out Jim to Nick - and that is when I learned the latest SW gossip. Rumor has it that the magazine went out of business - belly-up - goodbye. What shit luck I have. My first and only attempt at being a columnist and it was over before it even began. No wonder they wouldn't return my emails - or Hootch's phone calls to try and sell them a credit card machine...LOL

After D&B, Nick and I returned to my place. We watched some TV - that was pretty much it. No action, no problem. We made it. It was nice to connect with someone... he's a keeper (at least it appears that way for now).

I was up ‘til 4 am with Nick - and OF COURSE at 9:15 am my cell rings. I figured it was J. Ro. because we had made plans to do something. I was going to just go back to sleep - but I knew that she would call back if I didn't answer. So I dragged my ass out of bed, only to discover it wasn't Jenny. It was Angie. So... I surprised Jenny with my early morning call (I think she was fairly shocked too, because I'm NEVER up that early unless I have to be).

I met up with Jenny at around 12:30 on Saturday afternoon. We decided to deviate from our original plan of going to the DIA to instead head down to Eastern Market for some shopping. Jenny had never been and I had only been once. We had an awesome time! Jenny and I can spend every day together for months and still have fun. We never grow tired of one another, which is a relationship that is rare to find.

We went to this store that my stepmother recommended, which was totally cool, just like she said it would be. We walked around and window shopped, dodged the homeless people begging the "crackers" for money... we even got to barter for some flowers that Jenny bought. Too fun. Of course our adventure did not stop there. We decided to traipse over to Windsor for some Canadian action. Too bad Danny's isn't open at 4 in the afternoon... LOL. Second best thing - get your hair cut and styled by a Danny's dancer. YES folks - I broke down and had someone besides "Larry" cut my hair... his name - ALBERTO. OMG - he is sex-a-licious. I'd do him - however Jenny states he has a crooked "member"...

It was too funny because we first walked into the salon, not a single person helped us or asked for assistance. Weird. Even after we sat on the sofa for twenty minutes, no one helped us. At this point, we couldn't escape because Alberto (Jenny's "friend" from Danny's had already made eye contact with us) and we would have looked so ignorant sitting there for twenty minutes and not saying a word, and then just getting up and leaving. NO THANKS. Besides, I really wanted the stripper, I mean Dancer, to trim my locks. Thankfully, once he was done blow drying some primpy bitches hair... it was my turn. I made a booboo in telling him that Jenny said he was "fabulous"... there goes that big mouth of mine again. We laughed it off later.

After we left Jenny made the comment that that "would be the closest opportunity to ever taking a shower with Alberto that i would ever have"... wouldn't I like to prove her wrong? After our salon experience, which by the way was awesome (I recommend Canadian hair stylists... my cut was $25 Canadian versus the normal $30 American price - which converted to like $18.00 plus tip... crazy.... totally worth it), we went back to our country and went shopping at F&M. Going out of business sales are fun, especially when you get a good deal. After I picked up a few essentials, Jenny and I went to Ruby Tuesday's for salad bar. YUMMM. It was a well-deserved meal.

**Backthought - I witnessed my first car accident yesterday. Normally I catch the right after they happen, but this one I saw it happen, from beginning to end. It was sooo cool! (for me, not them). It was on 75 southbound right at the 696 interchange... I look over and I see smoke and I hear this screeching sound... obviously a car did not stop in time... no impact though. However one truck when up the side of the median, barely missed hitting the concrete barrier, and then tipped over. Yes, folks, I said tipped. Tipped and rolled. Crazy. Then immediately after that cars are swerving and this white LeBaron smashed right into the back of a new Yukon XL. No damage but what appeared to be some minor scraps to the Yukon... BUT, the entire front end of the LeBaron was totaled. No loss really, LeBaron's stopped being cool after the movie Lucas was filmed... whatever year that was. LOL

After din din we went back to Jenny's for a bit and watched CSI (GOOD SHOW!!!). The plan for the rest of the evening was to meet up with Nick at around 10. Nick and I went to Meijer, got some junk food, rented "Clue" (my favorite movie) and "Adventures in Babysitting" (yet another favorite). We pulled out the sofa bed, watched movies and ate cheese balls, beef jerky, pizza, drank Boone's Farm... and had a blast. At one point we stopped the movie for a bit - he he he - but just for some innocent fun.

All Day on Saturday, I felt really stuffed up - of course today I feel like shit. I've got a cold.... the last place I want to be right now is here, at OnStar. BLAH.

Ohh yeah, look for Mark on the Emmies tonight - he's somewhere in the audience!!!

Caio to you and to summer. ~ JWE

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls... Pimps and Ho's... HE'S BACK!

Okay so sue me, I took a few days off. Maybe I was running out of content... NAH. You all know me too well. I can talk for days about nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Tuesday was a fairly interesting day... Of course I was in a bad mood, because I hadn't heard a word about the article yet... I went to Pronto Monday night with Mark and waited for the magazines to be delivered. I was told they were usually there pretty late. While I was waiting for Mark, I decided to grab a bite to eat... who knew the kitchen closed at 9:45 pm. DAMMIT. The nicest lady offered me a cookie, then a bag of chips - which I declined both of them - then she said it... would you like some Turkey Chili? That is so what I wanted... I couldn't pass it up... Mark was nice enough to buy me a drink (Bud Light, naturally) The magazines were never delivered. DAMMIT.

Tuesday - Back to the OnStar hell hole - AKA MOnStar. I was stressed out all day because I wasn't sure if should write another article for the magazine or not. I wanted to make sure the first one made it in... by lunch there was still no word, and still no article. I called Pronto only to find out they hadn't been delivered yet. BULLSHIT. I don't want to dog the magazine I "write" for too badly - but shouldn't the Monday publication be available on Monday? I mean Playboy's October issue comes out in September....If Playboy can get there magazines out a month early, can't SW get their weekly out on Monday? Just a thought boys. Just a thought. After work I drove to Pronto again... no magazine. DOUBLE DAMMIT.

Wednesday - I went to my parents house... I made a deal with my stepmother that I would clean the house for 40 bucks a week... not such a bad deal since I end up cleaning every time I go over there anyway. Boy did the house need it to. I haven't officially lived there since August 1999 - it has been that long since Pledge has seen the light of day. no joke. It is amazing what a little dusting can do to the appearance of your home. Everything is so shiny now. OHH my... and my little sister (Greyse the cat) is so damn cute. What a bundle of energy. This kitten is adorable, loveable.... pure sassiness (just like her brother!)

J. Ro came over after an appointment in Shelby to meet me and my stepmother for dinner. By this point, I was so hungry, I could have eaten lima beans, liver and Cajun catfish (all of which have made me barf right on the dining room table in the past - NEVER under any circumstances try and feed me any of those three things - NEVER!!!) Jenny fell in love with the kitty... she also helped me restuff some couch pillows that I washed... ***NOTE TO SELF Never buy a white couch and then wash the pillows with bleach... the pillows are white and the couch now looks grey - two toned... just lovely!

As soon as I pulled Jenny away from my dad (they were starting a disagreement about feeding cats "wet food"... we left and met up with Lisa (stepmom) at Outback Steakhouse in Sterling Heights...yummm! We all had 10 ounce filets, with salads, baked potatoes and Lisa and I had veggies. If you can believe it - I ate every single bite. I was such a cow. OMG - Beef is the way to my heart. I hadn't had it in soooo long.... DIRTY PEOPLE... STOP IT. Yeah... come to think of it... it's been long since I've had that kind too. ;-)

Ohhh, I almost forgot the best story. So I spent all day cleaning my parent's house... my dad comes home from work and sys "Jason, I need to see you". He pulls me inside and proceeds to bitch at me because I didn't wind the vacuum cleaner cord correctly. Apparantly, the last time I used the "sweeper" (as my grandparents call it) I wound the cord the same way, and my dad had a helluva time unwinding it.... LOL. For real.... Jenny and I had a good laugh over that one.

After dinner I went over to Jenny's new condo - GORGEOUS! I am so jealous. This girl really has her shit together. Brand new appliances, beautiful new couch, dining room set... the list goes on. I was so excited because she "offed" some stuff to me. It was like Christmas. I got presents... yay! We sat around and chatted - had a drink - listened to some hilarious shit on her computer - chatted with an old friend online (Andrew... I haven't seen this hot stud in three years, since the scandal with the "nurse". Personal note - he was good in bed (Andrew, not the nurse). I finally left Jenny's about midnight after a really fun evening.

I called Greg on the way home from J. Ro.'s. We chatted for a bit. I spent the next hour and a half redecorating my apartment with my newly acquired goodies... ironically enough - they matched PERFECT. Almost like they were bought specifically for me. Jenny and I will be going to the DIA on Saturday... fun!!! I love art.

Thursday... TODAY. Nothing from SW yet... no article. I've given up. This writing shit is for the birds. It was fun for a week... granted I'll continue to do it because it's fun (that is when it works and is published) but MAN... it sucks when you have to wait. I hate waiting almost as much as I hate disappointment.

OMG - I got asked out on a date today - by a really cute guy named Nick. How fun. We are going out for drinks tomorrow. He's 23 from the "East Siiiiiiiide"... LOL He's a writer - currently writing a book about gay vampires.... they like to suck.... he he he We seem to have a lot in common.... cross your fingers and wish me luck. I haven't been on a date in months (since May...OMG - how embarassing).

Well.... still no update. I'm so over it. Tragic. I'm off to the gym after work.... time to work off that steak and the sausage I had for lunch!

J

To all - if you have a problem with something I write and feel that I am not being discreet enough for you - email me and I'll remember to not include you in any future posts... either that or I can change your name to protect your "innocence. The purpose of the journal is to express my feelings and to tell the daily stories of my life - things that affect me in one way or the other. It is certainly not intended to "hurt" anyone. So if you feel I am "hurting" you - or tarnishing whatever image you are attempting to portray - let me know.

Life sucks today - nothing to report. I'm in a sour mood.

...cross four straight men, six women, and five gay "studs"... a PARTY! Cheers to the tailgating adventure we all experienced on Saturday at Michigan State. We had a friggin blast.

Friday night I "prepped" myself for any possible activities that could have happened. You just never know when you are going to be taking your clothes off and it is important to always look your best. I was up til 1:30 am and had to get up at 6 am. NOT a pleasant thing considering I normally sleep til 11 am with my new work schedule. Yuck. I managed though... I think I was so excited about visiting Gary and Steve, seeing all the folk I've come to get to know, as well as hanging out officially with Greg for the first time - ohh yeah, and seeing my lil sis too!

I was supposed to pick up Larisa around 7 am, however she decided not to answer her phone when I called repeatedly, so I was pissed off for the first part of my morning - cursing out the turd who didn't answer and "dicked me over". She was, I must say, extremely apologetic when she finally woke up at 7:45. Larisa ended up borrowing her boyfriends Jeep and drive up later that morning for the tailgating fun.

Things are coming back to me in bits and pieces about the morning of party pleasure... I remember crawling through Steve's car, getting stuck between the seats, and falling out the driver's door... I remember putting on Clinique lipstick and kissing everyone I could get my hands on - including several sets of breasts... I of course remember Greg and Justin making out - as well as my make-out session with Mia (my first real girl kiss - aside from Shelley)... I remember Tip Cup... (which reminds me of Nip/Tuck... my favorite current television program)... and I also remember being good at Tip Cup, even though everyone was poking fun at me because I was drinking Smirnoff Twists instead of beer. Blah... I had to be gay somehow yesterday... I sure wasn't getting any action (Justin, you bitch... stealing my man... LOL, J/K Greg... ;-)

OOHHHH, and of course, how could I almost forget..... SHANASTY. Greg will never live that one down... he might as well move in and marry that girl.... because he will forever be... Mr. ShaNasty (even though he isn't nasty). I've noticed that straight men love to tease one another - not very different from gay men now is it? Maybe we are more alike than we would like to admit. This should teach Greg a very valuable lesson... do not walk random "shanasties" home and then claim you were just walking them home, because even if that is all it was - it looks bad. Now on the other hand... if the girl/ guy is a rock solid "dream boat"... walk all you like... hell, ride that shit home!

I also got to see J.Ro for the first time in forever. She looks just how I remember her... FABULOUS! She was on her way to the game - so we didn't have a lot of time to chat. It was funny because on the way to visit Jenny... Gary and I had to pee... BAD. The lines for the Portia-potties (hahaha) were way too long, so we decided to scam ourselves into the dorm... by a miracle of god, it worked. The guy at the desk recognized Gary and let us right through... Gary had no idea who he was.... and really realized the guy was fucked up when he was like... Gary, how's your brother. LMAO. Thankfully Gary doesn't have a brother otherwise he may have "shown him the ropes". ;-)

Mark rode his bike up - his BMW bike, not his Schwinn folks... and Gary, almost dropped it on the ground. But he managed to lift that thing right up before it plummeted toward Earth. Graceful Gary... he always knows how to lift things right back up again, isn't that right Steve?

Mid afternoon, it was time for a siesta... I didn't get much sleep, because we had to talk about Greg.... it is always fascinating to me to listen to friends talk about their friends when they aren't around. It gives you a lot of insight into their relationship. You can learn so much from listening... some people should try it more often.

Late night - we ordered Jimmy John's... yumm, side from the fact that I remember them being much better. I think they are getting a bit cheap on the sides though... come on people, I like lettuce and all, but I'd like to have some meat with the lettuce. Thanks... and a tomato or two would be nice also. I will say that I LOVE their pickles. Larisa thought I was doing dirty things with the pickle... however it was just her dirty mind. She's the one who said the pickle was "cut" and had a slit in the top... LOL

Most of the night we just sat around and talked - beat from a long day of drinking. We did end up going to Rick's for about an hour - however Greg and his friends didn't appear to quite enjoy the atmosphere... we should have taken them gay. Spiral would have been much more fun for all! Next time. I ended up leaving East Lansing about 3 am. The drive home was horrible... the fog was so thick, I could only see about maybe ten feet in front of the car.... Thank god there was no one else on the road - eighty was the speed of choice.

I need a nap...

caio

**DRAMA**
So I went home for lunch, and I am trying to peacefully eat my leftover pasta I made from two nights ago and the damn neighbor kids start causing quite a ruckus on my porch... damn them. Mind you, I'm still feeling pretty drained from yesterday, that and my entire head hurts from the sunburn I acquired... I wasn't in the mood. Next thing you know I hear this glass break and a kid start screaming bloody murder - no exaggeration. She was screaming "I'm going to die... I'm going to die...". Naturally all the neighbors who don't speak English are running out to assist... me... nah.... too tired. I figured enough peeps were gonna help the obnoxious brat who broke the window... that would be the three to the score card now, just this summer alone. (two doorwalls and one window - does this kid need ballet lessons or what?). Where the plot thickens is that the seven year old doorbuster - was home alone. The ambulance, a fire truck, and a police car showed up to take the little girl and her boo-boo'ed elbow to the hospital. Gee, I wonder if adult supervision would have prevented this accident. I overheard the cop say, that the mom was in big trouble... and that they were going to take her kids into custody. Oooops... next time get a sitter.

Work sucks... go figure. I can't wait to get out of here and go home to veg... maybe I'll get a pay-per-view movie... cuddle up with buddy bear and pray for a man. LOL

Adios (for real this time) - JWE

Well - unfortunately folks, there isn't much drama to report from last night. Damn. A few stories, but nothing terribly troubling...

So I let work last night and immediately called J. Ro. Her and I chatted and tried to catch up as best as we could (its been a year and a half... a lot of shit happens). While I was on the phone with her "Karen Carpenter" (aka Larry) called. **Details regarding the nickname to follow** Jenny is the bomb - I can't wait to make amends.

So, I drove up to Pronto and as soon as I got there - I felt like the only thing I did was stand in line. WTF... how annoying is that. And by the way - I can't STAND one of the asshole bartenders that works there. I have no idea what his beef is with me - but he is a fucking dickhead. I stood in front of him for over ten minutes and not one time did he acknowledge the fact that I wanted another drink... I couldn't have made it more obvious that I needed one - but he helped everyone around me... prick. This one goes out to A - SUCK MY DICK YOU PANSIE ASS HAIRDRESSING WANNA BE STRAIGHT BOY.... WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL FUCKSTICK? Eat shit and die - AFTER you get my Bud Light.

As it figures... I get to Pronto and not one person that should have been there was... not even the peeps I was supposed to be meeting. Larry, Curly and Moe left.... I guess pussy-whipped Moe had to get home to his BF... and Larry and Curly had to do some drive-by's. Long story - don't ask! So I sat there for a bit by myself - no problem though - I kind of enjoyed myself. After finishing my first beer, I went back for a second. This is where the previous comments come in - I waited and waited and waited and waited... prick took no notice. That's when Larry and Curly showed up... Larry pulled me away from the bar to tell me a story. I thought it was because he was in line elsewhere and getting better service. NOT... I lost my place and had to wait in an even longer line to get a drink. That time I pulled a Gary and got two beers... one for each hand. LOL

So there I was minding my own business - and who appears out of nowhere... Blake #2. This is a guy who I went on a nice date with a while back. I felt that we totally connected and I thought his feelings were mutual. Funny thing - the boy gave me his number when we first met, it was his idea to go on our second date - and even after I lost his number on purpose because he never called me back - he recently gave me his number AGAIN. Now I have to ask myself - what is the damn point? Why do you continue to tell someone that you like them - act like you are interested, and then ignore calls and never return them? WTF... men are stupid sometimes. He smells really nice though and he is a great kisser... Larry thinks he is a dumbass and I can do much better... we'll see.

I just don't get dating... I only pursue people I want to date.... I wouldn't even bother giving my number to someone, if I didn't want them to call me. Blake #2 always has a good excuse - too bad I am not ignorant. I can se right through his bullshit -which is why I will NEVER call him again. EVER. Fuck that shit. I have better things to do, like water my plant. Yes... I said plant - meaning I only have one. ;-)

I also ran into another punk I dated for a bit - he was a total bottom and he took it like a champ... too bad he was weird. He loaned me his radio - I permanently borrowed it as a token of my "pleasure-giving"... it worked well in West Virginia when we were partying on the Pontoon boat.... ha ha ha

So Larry and Karen Carpenter - why you ask? Larry was asking everyone if his thighs were fat... whatever skinny boy. Larry is gorgeous - fat thighs don't exist in his world.... Curly was like "whatever Karen Carpenter. What are you anorexic?"... it was so funny. You go Curly - now we can all call Larry - Karen.... very appropriate. Maybe one day he'll sing for us.... "Why do birds, suddenly appear.... Every time, you are near. Just like me, they long to be, close to you..."

I left Pronto about midnight and I called Greg back... we talked for an hour or so... yet another invigorating conversation. We told threesome stories... too fun. This boy is much more scandalous then I originally thought... go Greg.

HOLY SHIT - I went to check and se if Gary updated his journal and I got some bible site... I was like WTF.... go to www.garysgreatadventure.blogpsot.com <--- notice the s and the p are reversed. Crazy and Scary... I wonder if it is a sign from above???

I finally paid my sprint bill this morning - so they can now leave me alone for a few months - balance is $0.00 - YIPPPEEEE! I love it when all my balances are zero. It makes you feel good inside. Now If I could only pay off my taxes from 2001... that comes next.

The funniest thing just popped in my head - the "Peep Show"... for a good time - take two marshmallow peeps, a video camera, add a few cocktails (a doob or two) and go at it... "you are gayyyy......" LMAO - Only Gary and I really understand the power of peeps! Peeps and Feet.... Has anyone ever noticed that Gary has huge pinkie toes?... those things will eat you alive.... I think tapeworms live down there in the "basement"... cause lord knows the "penthouse" is empty.... LOL I love you Gary... I really do. ;-)

Have you ever just started smiling and you don't know why? While I was driving to 7-11 to get a 1/4 lb. hot dog and a Strawberry Daiquiri Sobe... I started smiling and couldn't stop. It wasn't anything I heard on the radio, or something I recalled that was humorous... it was just me... apparently enjoying my own company. Crazy huh? Maybe I am nuts.... I love when those moments happen. I actually wish they happened more often.

What is with people who walk right down the center of the aisle? Those people drive me nuts - especially when they don't move to the side when other people are walking down the hall. Grrrr... Some dude just bumped into me and didn't even move to the side at all. It is just like at the grocery store when people drive their carts right down the center aisle - who the fuck do you think you are? Have some courtesy folks. You don't own this world - learn to share. I can say that I drive my cart down the center and I walk down the center of the aisle - HOWEVER, I move when other people are approaching...

I am so excited about tomorrow - PAR-TAY! "Let's get soaking wet..." LOL

Just got back from lunch break - fun stuff. Some jerk decided to dump out an entire pop while he was driving and the sticky shit landed on every car - up to three or four car lengths behind him - ASSHOLE. Duh... didn't he think it would hit everyone else. Jerk... now my formerly clean (yet slightly dusty) car is covered in sticky soda. Is that the true definition of a "soda jerk"?

Well Linda is officially not joining us tomorrow. She's been up to EL the past couple weekends and doesn't feel like venturing up there again - completely understandable. She's gonna miss out on a HUGE party and the chance about being part of the next installment of my writing career. We'll miss her... raise your cups to the "missing Hootch"

Ohh yeah - I'm an avid supporter of the "Say YES to Ranch" campaign.

Well boi's, boi's and girls.... hasta la vista.

Good stories to come from tailgating... stay tuned.

Thursday has always traditionally been Pronto night - what else is there to do on Thursday, except go to a bar where you know you'll run into an ex, so you can flaunt your sassy shit and make them jealous. I'm looking forward to meeting Larry, Curly and Moe up there for some cocktails (Cosmo's with Mandarin Smirnoff - OMG - heaven. Of course last week when I had them, I got totally shitfaced. - ***SIDE NOTE - to prospective dates... order this drink for me and I'm an easy lay... trust me, I won't even think twice... well that is unless you are so repulsive, that Jason #3 wouldn't even consider sleeping with you - LOL***

I'm not sure what to wear tonight - my selections are limited. I wish I was a fashion guru like Larry, or a Prada sandal whore like Gary... but I'm not. EDS, lends me a certain shopping restriction... so I have to deal. I can be fabulous, wearing just the family jewels... (and let me tell you, that jewel of the ocean thing from Titanic, is no where near as stunning as my jewel... he he he - and not many of you boys will wear it either....) GOD, how cheesy can I be??? Boredom will do that to you.

Can I just say that Gary is fucking hilarious... I love that guy. He makes me laugh even when he isn't trying.... and the shit he says in his journal is too damn funny. Gotta love him...

So I finally called J. Ro. back today... it was so awesome to hear her voice. I made a terrible mistake losing touch with her and I feel so guilty about being a prick. Remind me never to pull that shit again. As I've said, she is a great friend. I really lost on that deal. The conversation went well, and I am hoping that we can repair whatever damage has bee done. She has a great head on her shoulders. What I really love about her is that she isn't afraid of confrontation - and she is one "sassy bitch". I feel so sorry for some of her parolee's (formerly inmates)... and I don't mean bitch like mean - I mean bitch like, totally fucking awesome babe! J. Ro.... I'm so sorry. What can I say... men can be pricks sometimes - and gay men are sometimes even bigger pricks (ouch for you ass men!)

The tailgating plans are officially under way. By the way, EVERYONE email Hootch and tell her to come on Saturday - she is trying to poop out. No cop-outs Hootch... everyone MUST come. Besides we love you to death... and Hootch - there will be "BEEF" there! BEEEEEEEEF! Foreign Beef at that... Germans. Yummm - I wonder if they will bring cake... I love German Chocolate Cake (okay so I prefer yellow cake... I lied... bring it on Germans, Bring it on!). I think we should all challenge the foreigners to a drinking contest - that way we can say things like "you may have won the battle, but we will win the war"!!! - hopefully the cute one with the fisherman hat will be there (you know the one I am talking about Mark... LOL)

Well ladies and gentleman - it is approaching quitting time - I'll bid adieu at this time - but I am sure tomorrow's entry will be fabulous... bars=drama!

Caio

Here it is - Wednesday - commonly known as hump day. I remember the first time I experienced the "hump day" terminology. I was working at Michigan Production Machining as a temp. This gentleman worked closely with our business and he called frequently. One of my first weeks there, he called and said "Happy Hump Day, Jason". I was shocked - I really didn't know how to respond to that. I said - wow, I didn't know that we had a specific holiday devoted to humping. That's cool. Happy Hump Day to you as well! You can imagine my surprise when hump day, meant Wednesday. I was so embarrassed - i blushed all day long (and if you know me, I turn tomato red when I blush).

So far I don't have anything to report for the day. Pretty easy going day thus far, however, I have had little human interaction today, so there is still hope. This morning I ventured over to my parents house to finish this ridiculous painting task I began over a month ago. Who knew this shit would take so long. Being a domestic goddess sucks. I thank god daily for giving me some "butch" genes... but sometimes I wish he would have just given me a cute pair of Diesel jeans instead. That way I could claim helpless and still look fabulous.

I got to meet my new little "sister" today. Her name is Greyse. She is a kitten - a true pussy. She is more high maintenance than my old friend Blake - demanding my attention constantly. We should have named her Blake. Actually my idea for a name was PG - short for Pussy Galore. My stepmother didn't think that was such a good idea... here pussy.... her pussy. I bet my dad would have gotten a kick out of it.

So yeah, I've been painting, painting and painting all day. I did manage to squeeze in some laundry (two loads), chat on IM for a bit... and soon, I'll find time to take a shower. I'm going to force my stepmother in to helping me film my "Real World" audition tape when she gets home.... either that or I am just going to gank the video camera and do it at home by myself. I might even ask my dad to borrow it this weekend... although I fear he will say no.

My father has always wondered why I don't ask him for things... it is because I always know that he will say no. What has this taught me - just borrow it, and return it as soon as I am done (and pray to god that I don't break it in the mean time). As you've probably guessed - something always goes wrong and the fuckin shit busts.... even the best plotted plans fail in the end... ask me about the power washer sometime....

So I spent the rest of the evening at my parents house. I finally finished the painting... halleluah! It looks really awesome. My dad even commented how on this weeks "Queer Five" (lol) that they painted the guys living room the exact same color scheme we painted the kitchen. Too funny. I can't believe that my dad watches that show!

I chatted with Gary for a bit tonight. I am so excited for this weekend. We are going to get fucked up and have a lot of fun! Too coolio!!!

Until tomorrow.... JWE (ohh yeah, nothing from the magazine yet. I guess I'll find out officially tomorrow when the article is either in the magazine or not... pray for me!

Tuesday - BLAH!

I had the best night last night. I got out of work at 9:30 - went home, changed into my ghetto fabulous gym apparel and headed off to Bally's.... Going to the gym is such an experience. I really love going, however I find myself having a difficult time getting the energy to go. I've found that if I convince myself to just do cardio - that once I see all buff beautiful bodies walking around, that I end up guilting myself into lifting weights. Once I've started, I can't stop... and I don't until I can't lift anymore. I've definitely noticed a difference in my stature, my physical appearance, etc. It's a lovely thing. There is this one guy, this Mexican looking, Latino guy... I feel like he follows me around. I think a lot of queers work out late at night... good poaching grounds.... lol I've got my eye on several regulars, but I have yet to report any episodes in the locker or steam room. DAMN. I have to rely on John, for now to get really good "gym drama".

When I got done working at -around 11pm - I went home. I called Ang to tell her about my exciting day with the magazine... she was impressed - I think. We chatted for a bit until I got a strange caller ID - sure enough it was Greg!!! I love Angie to death, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to chat with Greg. If you can believe it - the two of us talked for almost three and a half hours. I can't say this enough - but Greg is awesome. He really has a good head on his shoulders - and is extremely open minded. Even more so than myself. I won't go in to detail about what we talked about - because that is between him and I - but let's just say, it was amazing. I can't wait to chat again. Even more so, I can't wait until he moves closer so we can hang out. He truly is a special individual. Honestly I am beginning to feel like he is the brother that I've never had. Cool huh?

While I was on the phone with Greg - I got a million beeps. One of them being from a number I haven't seen in over a year. I have to admit that I am an asshole in this situation (it's rare that I will admit that - but in this case it is true). It was from a dear friend of mine Jenny. I haven't talked with her since last June... bad Jason! It was one of those situations were I felt embarrassed about calling, because before I knew it, it was too long in between conversations. I shouldn't have been such a dick, since Jenny was nothing but a wonderful person to me. She helped me out when times were rough for me (during the Brad crisis)... I know she feels that I ignored her because I promised to reimburse her for stuff that I used when she let me stay with her - but really it wasn't that at all. I can live up to what I owe people, I sometimes just can't live up to being the best person.

SIDE NOTE - I FUCKING HATE THESE PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTERS AT WORK. I just lost a good paragraph worth of stuff because the computer fucked up. I LOVE EDS. Bastards. Even better, I love people who call OnStar and put us on hold - DON"T CALL, IF YOU DON"T HAVE TIME TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS WHEN YOU CALL. I"M NOT HERE TO SIT ON HOLD WHILE YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ON YOUR CELL PHONE - stupid people. Dealers are the worst. "Read between the lines - dicks". Sorry - where was I?

Yeah, Jenny was nothing but an awesome friend to me and I can't believe I was such an idiot. Hopefully when I call her back, we'll rekindle old feelings and start back where we left off. Of course I'll have a check waiting for her as well... J. Ro. is when of the coolest people that I have ever met, and I'm a retard for letting it go this long without contact. I've already missed two of her birthdays... I owe her big time!!!

So I spoke with "bio" mom yesterday afternoon. Of course we discussed Greg and that whole situation - my mom's first response was "well if you can't him - maybe he'll be interested in Larisa... (for some reason my mom does not like my sister's boyfriend, even though she has never met him). I told Greg about Larisa, and he stated that I'm putting him in a "dangerous" situation because I described Ree and she sounds oddly like a Cali girl (which Greg hasn't seemed to find yet in Michigan). Ohh lord... that bitch better not steal my man (LOL). That was a joke - or was it? he he he Back to Bio mom - so she starts talking about open mindedness and all that jazz - which was fine. But somehow we started talking about lesbians...? Odd... then she proceeds to tell me to pretend for a moment that she is not my mother... okay. No problem. That's when she states - "It is not that I am a lesbian or have ever wanted to be one- however I can say that I can recognize and admit when a chick has a nice set of tits. I've also had lesbian fantasies... however, I like cock. I couldn't be a lesbian because lesbians don't like penetration... I like penetration. They only way I could be a lesbian is if there were no men left on the earth - then I would be a lesbo". WOW - that was nuts. I can't imagine my father every saying anything like that. Have I ever mentioned that I come from a bizarre family?

I just got in my first fight of the day with some old prick - who agreed to a service agreement that he never read... sounds like it is my fault. Yep - I must have become senile for him. Whatever - guess what old fart - I win in the end because I have the power to fix your problem. Don't be an asshole, and maybe I could have reimbursed your money. Instead you were a jerk, and guess what, so was I. Take that grandpa! Why don't you take on GM - the most powerful company in the world, over your couple hundred worth of rollover charges and your $13 phone charges... I'm sure GM's attorneys overlooked something in the service agreement and you'll win. NOT. Good luck with your lawyer’s pal. I swear - sometimes I wonder why god made these people.

So the Sprint nazi's have been on my ass today... I guess I should pay my bill huh? I just wish they would be more consistent. Sometimes it takes them two weeks to start bothering me, other times it is only a day or two after the bill is due. That drives me nuts. I suppose I could alleviate this pain, by just paying the bill on time, huh? LOL Ohhh well... I guess I like to live on the edge. At this point, it is put gas in the car and eat, or pay the cell phone bill. Thank god for payday... HURRY UP FRIDAY!

Thankfully, I have tomorrow off. Ang is supposed to come over tonight so I can help her with some "stuff".... lol. Nothing dirty folks, just helping out with some roots. As the day approaches a close for me (the work day that is)... I thank god that I am not quite as ignorant as the people I talk with all day on the phone...

Awww - Monday. What a great day to get yourself in to trouble. Today was my shave day. Since I only shave once every other day, I always seem to run late on shave days. I must be too much of a perfectionist, since I am so anal about getting every hair. I must say though that I haven't ever met anyone else in my life that gets such a close shave as I do. Thank god for Aveda. I should be their poster child... I can't praise their products enough! I think I have really good skin... its not perfect, but who's skin is? I do my best to take care it...

It is now approaching 2:30 pm and I have been at work two hours now.... two hours and I haven't received a single call yet. Is this a gift from god, or a cruel punishment? I made shit for commission over the weekend, so I was actually hoping to make some decent money today. EDS is supposed to be a world class corporation, state of the art and shit... why is it that our computers here at OnStar are from 1997 when OnStar was first implemented? Wouldn't you think that OnStar - such a world class service would have "super fast, awesome computers"? Thank you GM for such funding... it is because of you, and cheap-o EDS that our lives are so difficult. It shouldn't take five minutes to log in to an application - and quite honestly, these shit for nothing computers should not be running NT. This is why they are so slow? Did it take a networking engineer degree to figure that out? No... it took a BA in Advertising. Get over your bad selves.

I got another huge email from Greg this morning... such a wonderful thing. It was so long and detailed that when I printed it out - it took two entire pages - it almost hit a third. It really is awesome to have such a good friend. I feel like everyone is so busy now a days (not to say that I am not) that it takes great effort to sit down and chat for a bit. I'm used to talking to John a hundred times a day and just as an example we haven't chatted in what seems like weeks. I miss you John... come back to me! Hootch hasn't even called me back, which is rare.... WTF. Greg has been keeping a smile on my face, thanks buck-o!

I realized in reading Greg's email this morning that I thought I knew everything there was to know about straight people. I always feel like they are trying to figure us out... evaluating us, analyzing us... trying to figure out why we are gay, and why we do the things we do. Oddly enough, how often do we turn the tables as gay people and try to evaluate the "straights"? Never. It is almost like we think we know it all. In reality we don't.... I've always been gay. As a matter of fact, I never even made and attempt to be straight, something I almost regret now. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel straight and I don't have a desire to have sex with women - I just wish I had tried - just to see what it was like. I've been told it isn't too late - who knows. Parentals, don't get your hopes up... it would take a more than the best sex of my life to change who I am.

I'm just glad that I am not scared of women. I definitely know people who are repulsed by the thought of "pussy". I find those people to be so close-minded. It's like saying, I don't like meat, just because. How the hell do you know. Plus, if you are gay, and you've never seen a pussy up close - how the fuck would you know? Obviously we have all seen porn, but I think experiencing it in person, would be much different. I like people with open minds... who aren't afraid to experience what ever comes their way. This is why I like Greg so much. It is not just because he is adorable - it is because he isn't scared of living. He wants to embrace life. More people should be like that, so I've decided I'm going to be more like that from now on. See the things we learn from straight people?

HOLY SHIT! I must have accidentally sent my introduction email to the editor of one of our local Detroit Gay Magazines and I just got a surprise email back... see below:

Jason, I just finished reading your online journal, and might I say, it's
perfect.... for our magazine I mean. I love the concept of writing about
your weekly happenings as an article... maybe we could call it My Big Gay
Life or something else catchy. Let me know what you think. Also you would
have to edit yourself down to closer to 400 words per week. We can even
place your web address on the bottom of each article to help generate
traffic on your site.

Jim Shaffer
Editor
Scene Weekly

WOW - how cool is that? I just responded and if all works out well, I just may be writing a weekly column. How "Sex and the City" is that? I'm going to be just like Carrie. That is just fucking fabulous. I've always pictured myself as more of a Samantha... but damn... Carrie is a babe too! This is great. Monday's can be cool, right? Thank god for those Journalism classes.

Editing down an entire weeks worth of drama into 400 words, will be quite a challenge. Surely I will have plenty to work with. I wonder if this new job comes with a spending account? If I am going to be fabulous and write about being fabulous - shouldn't I have a spending account so I can go out and be really fabulous? Being a writer will have its perks right? This is going to be so fun. I'll keep everyone posted.

Just in case anyone was wondering, I'm keeping this open all day long and adding things as they happen, versus, waiting until the end of the day and trying to remember everything that happened. This way I can give you an accurate account of what's going on, plus I can vent my thoughts as they happen... fun stuff huh?

Well here it is 3:40 PM and I am finally getting calls - except they have put me back into Customer Care queue. What fucks... I left that department for a reason - because I didn't want to listen to people complain any longer. This place gets more and more miserable by the day. Why do companies torture their employees... what did we do to deserve such bullshit. There goes all the commission I was hoping to make today... I probably won't make any at all. I hate when EDS fucks with my money. As I've said before... Hitler's spawn runs this company. Today I wish I was German... instead of the Jew they are treating me like. Grrrr...

I've had nothing but frustration today from work. I can't wait to go home and work out. I've called everyone to let them know about the "magazine thing". Crazy shit. The editor requested that I send him a printable work by tomorrow's deadline to be included in the next issue... crazy. I've been trying to write that in between calls here at work. Just call me Carrie - am I the new "Sex in the City" writer for Detroit... hummm - we'll see how the first article goes!

Cheers Champs.... until tomorrow!

Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls - I now present - myself and the beginning of my online adventures.

I just got done reading my good friend Gary's online journal, which he just started this week as well - garysgreatadventure@blogspot.com. After reading his, I figured, what the hell, what better way to vent my frustration, anger, excitement, love, hate, betrayal, etc. than in my very own journal. I'm glad you made it and I sincerely hope you remain interested. I've had quite a bit of decent stuff happen to me this past week, so we'll start there.

First off, on Labor Day I returned from a trip to West Virigina to go white water rafting. At first I was disappointed because it was supposed to be a fun filled weekend with a big group of my close friends, and it ended up being only four of us. It started with several cancellations, then several "dumpings" and before you know it, people couldn't find dog sitters, money was tight, etc. In the end, I am glad it only ended up being us four. We had a BLAST!

White Water Rafting is such an interesting adventure... it seems so innocent from a distance, but when you get down to it - that shit can kill you (very fast, I might add). It can be easily related to dating - people seem so cute and innocent when you barely know them, but give it a couple weeks, meybe months, and in the end, those cute, innocent people are dangerous. Dating makes me want to drink - that's an entire seperate chapter though. We certainly had some crazy adventures during our travels, however my story of the week, involves, drooling, lust, and a damn fine straight man.

So there I was, admist a bunch of straight guys, in the middle of no-where West Virginia. Aside from Mark and I, there wasn't much to look at. I had an encounter in the restroom with a half way decent "river rat" named RJ - but that was about it - that is until I spied Greg. Of course I didn't know his name was Greg until he volunteered his student ID ,when Lori didn't believe he was a college student. What luck for me - good thing that universities post all the pertinent information about students on their web sites (makes you feel safe, doesn't it?). All week long, I've done nothing but ponder this slightly dangerous "relationship" with the straight guy. Of course it would be my luck lately, that I would finally meet someone I seem to have quite a bit in common with and he's friggin straight. We've been emailing back and forth all week, as well as conversing on Instant Messenger (as you guessed, I took advantage of the web site... and much to my shock, her responded). I couldn't be happier right now that I have made a new friend - I just wish for once in my life that I was a straight girl... then again, maybe this is just a trick brought on by the Boy Meets Boy Scandal - maybe gay men are posing as breeders now to make them more attractive... hummm. I may still have a chance after all. As I stated - Greg is awesome and I find him fabulous regardless of his sexuality.

That brings me to my next point of interest - why do we place so much emphasis on sexuality. Boy Meets Boy has certainly impacted my life this week. I've done nothing but ponder why I'm single, and what makes me so unfabulous to prospective gentleman callers... is it me - or is it them. I don't know. It is something I may never find out. I really shouldn't care but I do. Every time I watch the last episode of BMB - I cry. I don't know why. The only thing I can think of is that I miss the physical interaction between two people in love. I miss the game - the emotion, the desire of pursuing someone. I haven't had that for a long time - too long. The show really made me think about what I really want. Oddly enough - I enjoyed what the show made me feel so much, that now I am trying to get in contact with a casting director (or two) to see how I can audition. Wish me luck!

Speaking of auditions, my last chance at being on the Real World, is closely coming to a deadline. September 15, 2003 is the last time I will ever be eligible to be on MTV (at least on the Real World). John and I have talked about sending in our tapes... I'm going to make mine on Wednesday... cross your fingers... as you'll read in the future - I've got plenty of drama to report on a daily basis.

I just checked my email and sure enough - yet another email from the "straight boy". He makes me smile. The crush will eventually subside, so I might as well live it up while I can (in my own head that is). It is so rare to find such an understanding person - I keep telling people that I can barely get a gay guy to email me back - that fact that Greg is so good about it, is totally awesome. Sorry for the interruption in the story - I've been waiting all day for a response - how exciting!

Being at work sucks - my biggest beef with my life right now is this rotten good for nothing job I have, and to make the situation even worse, my cunt supervisor. God, I hate that bitch. They treat people here like we are kindergartners. I didn't waste $40, 000 to be treated like I am a fucking moron. I know for a fact that I am more "world class" than the bitch I work for. I can't wait until the day I find a better job so I can tell her to shove her consistency manual and her timesheets up her ass - and so I can recommend a good salon for her to get rid of that pathetic eighties hairdo. Sister, that shit wasn't even pretty back than!

Speaking of cunts, everytime I drive by Carol's place of business, I roll down my window, extend my gorgeous middle appendage, and scream "CUNT". One day I am hoping that I will catch her walking to her car, so she can hear me. Do I sound bitter? Nah.... just pissed off.

Well, as the work day approaches a close - I shall sign off. Stay tuned for more details of my fabulous existence. (I promise good things like threesomes, fights with Blake, ditching random strangers, and more sex is sure to come... ) - JWE