"Boys Will be Boys"

I know. It's rare now a days that I write in this thing, but today I couldn't resist.
So I am sitting here at work, amidst a bunch of ghetto superstars and life-size Barbie, when I spy this Asian Chico. Next thing I know, this guy starts discussing how he has an agent and he is going to be a superstar like Jared Leto. WHAT? I felt like saying - yeah right jigga. I have a better chance in hell of getting on "Days of our Lives", "General Hospital" and "Passions". Yeah... this gnarly ass, glasses wearing, bad skinned "gaysian" wants to be a superstar. This led me to start thinking that I really could be a superstar. I'm much better looking (atleast I think I am??, right??), very articulate, LOVE the theatre, acting, etc. and I have the desire to take chances.
Hummm. Help me out here folks... I think I want to call a buddy of mine over at Gail and Rice and see if maybe she can get me in on the Auto Show modeling. It is super cool, plus you get to wear designer suits. Sucks that you have to give them back in some cases - but hey. There could be a real living in this "product" modeling. Not to mention I am VERY familiar with auto shows and stuff... COULD BE FUN!!!!

So I had another "date" with Paul last night. He's a nice boy but reminds me too much of Brad. Rather frightening. I don't need another one of those. I think I am just going to take things really, really, really slow for now and just see where it takes me. Although that really scares me too, since that is EXACTLY what I did with Brad. Gawd... life is a circle of events. They just replay themselves over and over again. FREAKY!

Yay... Back to work. Peace out!

J







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Her name is Supervisor from Hell - she is THE #1 Ugliest Queen of them all. The worst kind of queen too! She is always trying to convince everyone that she is the best "queen" and that you are lucky to be one of her "slaves". THANK GOD (trust me I've done this many times in the past) that I am NOT on her team. She has an ugly purple jacket too.

Well peeps - I know I know - it has been THIRTEEN DAYS since my last update. I'm a bastard - what can I say. I've had a lot going on - planning my life and stuff, you know? Actually I've mostly been dealing with drama drama drama.

A week ago Friday JRo. and I were supposed to go out and live it large on the town at Q - however something came up and Jenny had to cancel. To be honest - nothing came up - but something CAME OUT! No, it wasn't Jenny, or her cat Simon... it was her Appen"dix". The only thing in Jenny's body that remotely was related to a "dick" and now it's gone. We can never be lovers now. Such a shame. I know she would have enjoyed my "Superstar"!!! ;-)

So one less appendix and one less night on the town, I decided to stay in on Friday night and play. I was ecstatic because I got some new "videos" in the mail on Thursday. I had more than enough to do on Friday night. Sad but true folks... sometimes self-pleasure is the best kind. I decided that I would party on the town with Gary, Steve and "straightie" (aka Greg) on Saturday night instead.

Saturday morning I dropped by the hospital and visited with Jenny. She looked wretched considering generally she is very well made up and looking "fine"! ;-) It was awful seeing her like that, however I was really thankful that the surgery went well and that it didn't escalate to the bursting level. She's up and back to normal now - just a bit slow.

Bolting from the hospital (literally - of course it was raining and I parked illegally because I didn't want to pay to park - BY THE WAY... what is with hospitals charging you to park? You can't go to Beaumont in Royal Oak and park for free... don't I already fork out enough for the procedures and things?? Now you have to RAPE me with a parking fee? Whatever.) I was off to my parents house for my dad's birthday celebration. It was cute. Larisa came home and we had dinner as a family. We joked about Evansville and had some good laughs. My dad stated that when we bury him we are going to have an open casket - bottom half open, naked, with his ass up in the air, so we can all kiss his ass goodbye. I thought that was pretty clever. I've decided I need to be buried with a Gucci Suit (custom made of course) - a tan, fabulous hair, a few sex toys and my cell phone. I figured it out... whatever you are buried with is what you bring with you to the other side... I need to look good, have my contacts, a way to contact them, and a few toys to bring to the party once I get there. For real - how popular would I be, wherever I end up if I have a couple toys... not many people have a couple of those lying in their coffin!!! Bring it on GRIM REAPER!

Saturday night with the boys was as always - quite an adventure. I put on atleast fifteen different outfit combinations before I found something that I was happy with. I can't wait to move in with Ang so I can finally have some money to go shopping!!! Anyhow - once at Q we wasted no time drinking, drinking, and doing more drinking. Gary got me nice and liquered up - but I think it was the shot of 151 that Greg made us all do, that really honed in on my intoxication. I felt FANTASTIC! Gary and I danced the night away once again...

While at Q, we happened to run into some old peeps. First we ran in to Blake Scheer. Let me ask this question to all - if a boy you went out with who NEVER calls you, randomly approached you at the bar and the first thing out of his mouth was your telephone number (that he memorized), how would you respond to that? I was like, WTF? That's when he proceeded to tell me for the one-millionth time that he really enjoys my company. All I have to say is FREAK! Shortly after that we ran in to Tom Herpel - yet another bizarro. The only difference is that Gary took the liberty of bitching out Tom for treating me so poorly. Interesting. I was booted to the side while they have their conversation and that is when I met Mark and Paul. Cute, cute Paul. I was actually quite ballsy for once. I just approached these two guys and started talking. It worked well considering Paul and I have been chatting over the phone on a regular basis and we had our first date last night. Fun stuff. Yippee.

Back to Q night... we stayed until we got kicked out. As a matter of fact Gary met the owner of Q and got in a verbal disagreement with him and the DJ for not playing Lady Marmalade. LOL (one of our MANY theme songs from the past). Of course Gary wanted to hit up Innuendo - but the rest of us wanted none of that. It appeared from afar that Greg was quite comfortable with his surroundings. He was getting drinks from guys, dancing on the stage with half naked men... it was quite a scene. He'll be back boys... I can guarantee that!!! On the way home we stopped at Taco Bell (even though Gary doesn't remember that part...). I crashed as soon as we hit the apartment. I was exhausted and I had to work on Sunday morning. Apparently many things happened while I was sleeping... the highlight was when drunk Gary tried to molest Greg and Greg bolted out of my apartment like a Mullet chasing after Nascar. I would have liked to have seen that - or at the very least been a part of the scandal. Ohh well. Another time.

Wednesday was my house cleaning day - but it doubled as my babysitter day for J.Ro. I also dropped off my dry cleaning for the first time in three years. I couldn't believe it had been that long. Some of those sweaters needed it BAD. After my cleaning (of the house and the refrigerator) I was off to Jenny's. We had such an awesome time together. Nance (Jenny's mom) had baked a ton of food and Jenny and I both feasted! It was wonderful. I think the cookies and the raspberry pie were my favorite. We also made beaded bracelets and watched the OC. I spent the night for the first time over at her new place - being extremely jealous that I don't have a home to call "mine".

Thursday morning I had to get up early AGAIN. Too many days of early awakening is so scary to me. I value a good night's sleep. 8am is SOOOOOOO early. Part of my babysitting adventure was to take J.Ro to the hospital for a follow-up appointment. Talk about being in the deep dark depths of Royal Oak Beaumont - it was freaky. Jenny and I were joking about this magazine we were reading and before we knew it we were surrounded by children. YIKES. Not only that, but we were the only white people there. It was a convention for racial minorities. There was a black couple, several Asians, some other mixed races and then Jenny and I. Not only that but we waited forever to see the doctor. Naturally we were one of the last people called, even though we were one of the first people there. Jenny took me to lunch after that at Einstein Brothers... my favorite lunch place. Fab!

On Saturday I picked up a double time shift in Customer Care, so I didn't have the day off. Kinda sucked, but my next check won't!!! Right after work I went home and proceeded to manscape for my date with Paul. We mutually decided to go to Thai for dinner at Rexy's in Royal Oak. It was a cute date - even though the first date jitters were present. After that we went to Blockbuster and rented Charlies Angel's 2. Such a cute movie. I liked Bill Murray better than Bernie Mac - but other than that, it was awesome. We cuddled on the couch and watched all the extras. I ended up falling asleep in his arms... too cute. Oddly enough nothing happened beyond that. NO kiss, NO sex... NO nothing. It was cool.

This brings us to Sunday... BLAH. Just working.

I love you guys. Keep on me about updating, that way I won't wait a whole week!

J





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To my fans... young and old... beautiful and not-so-beautiful... let me apologize. I've left you all hanging for weeks now.
I've been busy... GET OVER IT! he he he

I don't really even know where to start...
I went to Ann Arbor for Halloween, partied at the frat... SUCKED. My sister dicked me over for some frat dude, who eventually (the next night, dicked her over for a stripper in Canada - KARMA!!) The next morning I drove to EL in the middle of the night and had some crazy mid-morning adventures with Gary. We went to Jimmy John's... drove around campus and caused some ruckus... and the award goes to Gary for grabbing the "Caution Do Not Cross" tape and stretching it beyond belief while I drove... only to see the security van watching the whole thing. As an encore... Gary also stole a lovely, designer orange cone. We'll call it a parting gift. It looks fabulous with his living room decor!

The game was great. J Ro. Man-da-licious and I sat in the UofM section with some other peeps... this was fun. The best was writing Mandy's number on one of the beach balls Jenny brought and tossing it into the crowd. "For a good time call" works great... to my knowledge she has only received one call to date from a guy who sounded relatively cute. You GO GIRL! I almost got into a fight with some Wolverine fan that decided that beach balls should be popped. Lil ole me screamed a few profanities at the "FUCKER" and almost creamed the back of his head with a balled up hot dog bun (those things can be vicious at high speeds)! It was a little rainy, but we had a blast.

Saturday night (Nov. 1) Steve and I went to Q. We ran into a bunch of old haunts including Weldon, Blake #1, Andy (my hottie from Meijer that I dated) Mike, Neal and welll... that's it. It was a nice evening overall. Blake of course hates me, so he wouldn't even chat with Steve if I was in the vicinity. Weldon was shocked as hell that I was there... of course I thought the same about him. I just pray to god that I look that HOT at 40! I'd fuck him again, and again, and again... and thankfully I am much more appealing than his NASTY ASS boyfriend. Thank god for good looks!

Sunday I worked and battled a hang over... Monday... ouch. My mom called to tell me that my Uncle Jeff had passed a way on Saturday. This really screwed up my whole week. I was lucky to find out through Ms. "Latifah" that I get three days paid bereavement - VACATION (sort of). I decided to scoot out of work late Monday night and head out to "The Big E" (short for Evansville, IN). Of course I couldn't leave work without creating a scene - I got into a HUGE squabble with one of the biggest wenches at OnStar... "The Commission Lady". This woman is the epidemy of WHITE TRASH. She takes more smoke breaks than the Marlboro Man. I'd like to pop this bitch a big fat one right on the ass - but I'm afraid she would enjoy it too much. Apparently I created such a stink that practically every supervisor in our building is aware of it... more than likely Queen Ugly has something to do with this - THE BIG PURPLE MOnStar. This bitch wears sooo much purple you wanna call her Barney. She makes him look like Claudia Schiffer - honestly.

I finally got to Evansville around 5:30a on Tuesday morning. My mom insisted on making me scrambled eggs... BARF! I ate and went to bed. Tuesday afternoon was the wake at the funeral home. I got to meet loads of second cousins and shit that I have never met before. Thankfully I have taste and was wearing my Lagerfeld suit... most of my family was wearing jeans. Amazing huh? No respect for the dead. Of course my Uncle Jeff wasn't wearing a suit either... he was wearing a flannel shirt. Dead people look funny... I'll just make sure that my stylist knows that I need to look great when I die - a bit more tan... and if I don't have hi-lights... it is imperative that I have them. I MUST look stunning in the afterlife. Ohh yeah, and fill my coffin full of sex toys.... that way I'll be VERY popular (since as you know, whatever you have with you, is what you get to take in to the after world.... ;-)

The best experience in Evansville was when we left my grandma at the funeral parlor. She disappeared and everyone thought she was gone. So we left. 45 minutes later we get a phone call from Grandma Carter (GC) telling us how she had to hitch a ride home on a red, rusted out bread truck... with no seats. The driver sat on a 10 gallon bucket and his friend held up my grandma's ass while she held on for dear life to the dashboard. Of course... he was only driving ten miles an hour. These things happen in Evansville often... Uncle Jeff is definitely laughing up in heaven and as GC put it "Shiiiiiit, it's a good damn thing I've got a sense of humor!"

Wednesday was the funeral - very sad. Uncle Jeff is in a happier place. Had he not received the transplant, he might be alive, however he would have died a horrible death from cancer. This way he went peacefully. Later that night we had dinner at my Aunt Teresa's new home. Cute but poorly decorated... as fabulous as she is, she needs a gay man to help design the "look" she is going for. That and she needs a divorce. Her husband is a racist, bigot PRICK. He hates gays, mexicans, "niggers"... the list goes on. I was extremely offended by his lack of education and his ignorant comments. My stepdad was pissed too... mom and the ladies weren't around to hear the comments, but let me tell ya... when mom did find out, she raised some hell. Yet another "YOU GO GIRL" is handed out to Tamara Davidson. I could have fought for myself but I figured it wasn't worth it... the boys in the family on my mom's side don't know I am gay (the girls do though) - and I wasn't in the mood to fight what would have been a losing battle. The truth is, I'll make it farther through life and be much more successful knowing that race, age, color, whatever, is not what is important, but more so the individual inside and what they represent. FUCK YOU UNCLE STEVE!

Thursday - all the ladies in the fam (and me) had lunch at the Lucky Dragon restaurant. Awesome food.... I almost beat my loving mother's ass, because by day three she was driving me up the damn wall. "My little pooh" was lingering in my head and I was definitely tired of being "this is my little boy". I'm gonna be 25... can you treat me like I am an adult for once. I've tried so hard to address this issue - and it has gotten me nowhere. What I could not believe is how EXTREMELY rude my family is... what is humorous is that they probably think I am a stuck up snob because of this incident. It could be because I started the sentence with "Where I come from..."

So we've ordered, drinks are on the table and the food is on its way out... I get served first, my mom gets served second and so on. As soon as the plate is in front of my mom she starts eating. I said "mom, don't be so rude"... and that's when the dispute started. Thankfully I have manners and I waited until everyone had their food... but I couldn't believe that everyone ate as soon as the food was set down. RUDE. I let em all have it though, and hopefully they won't make the same mistake again.

Thursday night I was on a mission to find a bar... I needed some space and a hard drink. NOTHING. I couldn't find a single bar that was worth even looking in to. NADA... I was pissed. I ended up at Borders reading oral sex books. I learned some mad skills and decided I needed to get kicking and find a man. Friday afternoon I headed home. Around Toledo, I called Ryan... at 1:30a he was at my door and by 2 am, those new "mad skills" were in effect. I was more than successful in my endeavor. Let's just say it is a good thing they didn't do any DNA testing on my sheets... NASTY!

Saturday Night (November 8) was a Q night with J.Ro. We partied that shit LIVE - UP IN HERE! Jenny wasn't so impressed with the music but overall, we danced the night away. Not to mention I looked amazing (well at least I thought I did). It may have had something to do with the Chocolate Martini's we had at Pronto, but hey... I saw some heads turning. That's all that matters... plus I got to make out with two boys. I think I am finally regaining my mo-jo. It's about fuckin time!!!

Sunday was uneventful... and that brings us to today. IN about half an hour I am meeting up with "da girls" and going downtown to our new Hard Rock Cafe... should be fun. I just have to remind myself not to spend any money. I'M BROKE! Ohhh yeah... I finally got to see a picture of Bobby - My Canadian Hottie. Trust me - he is one too. It makes me sad that he lives four hours away. I'd make the effort to go visit him, but I don't think he wants the same thing that I do... I don't know. I care about him a lot. I just hope "we" can survive through the situation we are having right now.

Outtie... and may the updates come sooner than NEVER!!!

Lot's of Love,
Jason




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