"Boys Will be Boys"

Due to illness today - I don't feel like writing much. I have a lot of updates from this past weekend that I will post tomorrow. I did however read this online and thought that it is interesting enough to post (the recent online debates about gay marriage has strayed me away from the posting on the topic, however this post should make up for it). Thanks to HOTTIE Randy for posting this information first.

If President Bush believes that the Bible is the penultimate authority when it comes to marriage, then here's a couple of other amendments he might want to consider.

- No state may sanction marriage between a man and a woman who was married previously but has since divorced (Matthew 5:32).

- No state may sanction marriage involving a widow (unless it is to her brother-in-law, see below). All women whose husbands have passed away are to refrain from intimacy and pleasure for the remainder of their lives (1 Timothy 5:5-15).

- No state may sanction marriage between people of different races (Deuteronomy 7:3; Numbers 25:6-8; 36:3-9; 1 Kings 11:2; Ezra 9:2; Nehemiah 13:25-27).

- No state may sanction marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian (2 John 1:9-11, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17).

- No state may sanction marriage involving a man who has had sexual thoughts about a woman other than the one he intends to marry (Matthew 5:28).

- No state may sanction marriage between a man whose brother has passed away and any woman other than his brother’s widow. Each state must require the brother of the deceased man to marry his brother’s widow (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).

- No state may sanction marriage between a man and any woman unwilling to promise in her wedding vows to obey her husband and submit to his every whim (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18; 1 Timothy 2:11-12; Titus 2:3, 5; 1 Peter 3:1).

- No state may sanction marriage in which the wedding ceremony is to occur during the woman’s menstrual cycle unless the prospective spouses agree to refrain from intimate relations until the woman’s period of uncleanness has terminated (Leviticus 18:19; 20:18; Ezekiel 18:5-6).

- No state may sanction marriage between a minister and any woman other than a virgin (Leviticus 21:13-14).

- No state may sanction marriage between a rapist and anyone other than his victim. States must require a rapist to marry his victim (Deuteronomy 22:28-29) unless the victim failed to cry out, in which case the rapist is relieved of this obligation (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

- No state may sanction marriage between a man and an aggressive or contentious woman (Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15).

This doesn't leave many people who can get
married, does it?

I couldn't have said it better myself. Happy Academy Awards night to all!!




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Close but no cigar.

Tuesday was a VERY interesting night out with Blake.

Once again I was forcefully "dragged" to the bar - against my will. I'm not sure if an restraints were involved, as by the time the night was over, I couldn't remember much of anything. I do remember this much: I got drunk, stripped my clothes of to "My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to The Yard..." on stage with a LARGE audience, bared my naked ass to hundreds of people and won third place in the Mardi Gras contest. Yes folks... You have the pleasure of knowing the second runner-up in the Gold Coast, Mr. Mardi Gras contest. I should have won. Personally, the contest was rigged. I know this because I also happen to share this opinion with many patrons of that bar that night. Not only am I declaring war on President Bush, but I am also declaring war on Club Gold Coast (why not.... afterall, if you are going down... You might as well deep throat?)

So how exactly did I get third place you ask? Well the gentleman who won first place just ironically happens to be one of the club's biggest investors. In no way, shape or form, did this crater faced, pudgy punk ass out perform me. He barely showed any ass at all - and to be honest what ass he did show had no prominent features that would designate an absolute win. In addition to that the boy had no rhythm and danced like William Hung sings. I shook my ass like the biggest Polaroid picture. As a matter of fact, all I could think about while I was dancing four on the floor, humping the imaginary ass on top of me, was OutKast... shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture. Oddly enough, at the time I wasn't shaking... I was thrusting. Thrusting hard in fact. I knew in my mind that someone in that bar wished, prayed and hoped that one day they might get a chance with me and my personal "Hank".

The second place punk was not much better than the first place "loser". The only difference is that he isn't an investor, he is a stripper at the club. COME ON PEOPLE. I think it is unfair to have employees or people that have an "interest" in your facility participating in the contests. Ohhh well. I got beads, compliments and the satisfaction of time well spent at a shady nightclub - in my underwear. In the aftermath, I'm quite embarrassed that I was bare-assed in front of a plethora of hungry gay men. Thankfully I had Blake to go home with, otherwise I may have been lonely. LOL


My question of the day...
Why do I get so jealous when other people have sex?




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What raised my spirits today...
...When Ms. Vivian at work asked, "Did you go tanning?"

The answer is no. The secret to my happy glow, you ask? SEXCAPADES!

No need for self tanner. Forget huge tanning salon membership fees. Just have SEX! Mindblowing, fantastically marvelous, SEX! It'll give you all the color you'll ever need. Trust me. I know.

Sorry for the lack of details - but sometime in the near future I'll reveal who this mystery man who revolutionized my sex life is. Stay tuned... The wait will be worth it!

Ohhhh... A big salute to Corey Spears - for allowing me to start his fan club. I'm the only member and I plan to keep it that way! I want him all to my self. We've tentatively planned to have our first fan club meeting this spring in Detroit. Should be educational - don't you think?

Caio




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Sorry for the delay in delivering good content.

First we'll review what is about to follow:
- Chris and the cancelled date (well there was no call at all)
- Dan from OnStar and the nasty ass email conversation he had with my counterpart (a.k.a. Fake Email Account)
- Q on Saturday Night
- Geoff *YUM*
- Greyse the spoiled rotten cat
- Secret Admirer Update
- Dry Humping Eminem's Probation Officer
- Gold Coast on Tuesday night and Blake's Stalker
- Sex and the O.C.
- BB and his letter...

Boys, Boys, Boys.... when will they learn?

I waited all week to hear from Chris. NO emails, no call, no nothing. I was quite disappointed and a bit pissed off. I mean really... how can it be that you have such a great time together, make tentative plans to hang out and then nothing. I attribute this to him having a live-in boyfriend. Will I ever learn my lesson... who knows? I seem to continue to make the same mistake over and over again. If you recall we were supposed to "continue" our date this past Saturday. When did I finally hear from Chris... Sunday... when I received the following:

Don't freak out. It's been a crazy week. I will tell you about it soon. Probably won't have time today, but hopefully tomorrow I can send you a detailed message.
Take care and have a wonderful Sunday,
Chris

Today is tomorrow... have I heard anything. NOPE. I'm so over it. The only feasible excuse for this lack of attention toward me is if he and Bill broke up and Chris moved out. That would be an acceptable reason for blowing me off. Otherwise, this relationship (on whatever level it was at) is over. Besides - I have a new love interest.

So in an attempt to discover who the secret admirer is, I took things to the next level. I decided to try and get in contact through a dear friend of mine "Denise O'Reilly" - a created best friend. Originally Denise's job was to try and trick my old boss into saying nasty things about me in order to prove that she was what was preventing me from getting employment. After one email response from Carol (the old boss), I realized that she was saying nothing but positive things about me. "That" Denise (an Advertising Vice President from a firm in New York City) was pleased, even though it now seemed to me like I was just a reject. I no longer had Carol to blame. Ohh well.

Anyhow... the new Denise (an OnStar employee who is best friends with me) decided she was going to write to this very attractive guy named "Dan" that works in my department. The purpose of the email was to determine if indeed I was correct in thinking he is the secret admirer and if he wasn't the secret admirer whether or not his is playing for my team (yeah, that team - although hopefully he prefers to be a catcher). Well anyway, the response was less than desirable... (His responses are italicized, mine are in bold)

Question -
Is your name Dan? Commonly known as the cute Dan from RQ? If I'm right you
are wearing a light colored button with a very faint vertical striping. Am I right... I'm so confused.

Don't be shy QT... I won't bite. I'm not even making this inquiry for my
own personal benefit. It's for a friend of mine who thinks your "yummy" -
assuming that I have the CORRECT Dan from Reacquisition.

ahhh who is this? what dept. are you from?

As I mentioned this is actually for a friend of mine... Are you going to answer my question? Before I divulge too much information I want to know that I have the correct person.
Let me ask again.... are you the QT Dan from RQ?

well you are correct in that my name is Dan. so who is your friend?

First question is - are you married?
I'll tell you about my friend in a moment.

i aint sayin nuttin until u tell me who this is for? u obvioulsy know who i am, u give me some info now.

The reason I am attempting to get a bit of information from you is because I am trying to avoid creating a dramatic situation. Based on your answer to this question - we'll go from there. Deal?
Are you "family"? If you are, you will know what I am asking... hopefully.

To further that just in case... have you ever been to Pronto!, Menjo's, Gold Coast, Gigi's... if you haven't and you are "family" than you still should have at least heard of these places.

well #1 i dont know what u mean by "family". #2 i havent heard of any of those places besides pronto, but i havent been there. why dont we just get to the point and tell me who this is for?

My My... slightly impatient aren't we? Relax. You look better when you smile. I would tell you who it's for, but I don't think he really wants to be outed to the entire building and since you haven't really answered my
questions in relation to your "sexual preferences" I don't know that you would even be interested in knowing who this person is.

You show interest... I'll provide more information. At any rate, take it as a compliment that someone has an appreciation for you from afar.

well denise or whoever the fuck you are, go tell your friend to go get his shit pushed in. please dont waste my time with your petty emails about sexual preferneces and that u hang out with homosexulas.

Well ya homophobic prick... get a life.

Just because you have issues, doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Get over your bad self dickhead. Your obvious bad luck with women probably has a alot to do with the fact that you've been pegged as a big flaming homo. Maybe you just need to get fucked in the ass by a big fat cock and then you'll relax a little bit.

For now... eat shit and die (until you get a better attitude).

your the one that needs the life u fat whore if your at home spamming my email account bozo.

BOZO?
Coulnd't come up with anything better than BOZO? You "Straight" men make me laugh. By the way, I'm not anywhere near a fat, whore. I happen to be one of the MOST attractive people working at MOP. Looks like you just lost your chance, BOZO.

You killed both birds with that last "stone" Good going. I'll accept your apology anytime.

damn i guess i really fucked up now huh.. thats too bad.. your probly in front of the computer eating a box of ho'hos the fat ass u are. but hey baby,its still not too late to go out tonight. just wipe the custard and cream off your lip and fix yourslef up a little bit. make sure to weat alot of makeup so the "beer goggles" work a little bit better for the guys. have a nice nite.


I guess that conversation didn't go quite as well as I had planned it to. Ohhh well. Now I know Dan is a fucking asshole.

Moving on...

Things with the secret admirer are progressing. We exchange relatively frequent emails back and forth. I recently got booted from my normal (and preferred) workstation location at work, so now I am sitting on the main floor in plain view of everyone. This is perfect for SA since he can now view my luscious physique all day long now, versus just when I decided to make a trip through the floor. I honestly am really beginning to enjoy the anonymous relationship we share. I'd still like to find out who "super stud" is, however the recent email conversation with Dan has left me with the notion that it is best left alone.

Tuesday:
Last Tuesday Blake and I decided to head off to the Gold Coast to make a repeat of our previous adventure the week before. Blake was a bit worried that we would run into the stalker asshole that he gave a fake rejection hotline number to (909.650.5412). Things looked good for an hour or so until we ran into him - once again, stalking. This time he chose to attack when Blake and I went up to the bar to get another drink. The stalker noticed us and he immediately started lurking around Blake. Finally he spoke:

S - "Thanks for the fake number, Blake"

B - "Your Welcome."

S - "So, are you interested in going out with me sometime? I can be your sugar daddy. I can make you happy."

B - "I have a daddy in Bloomfield Hills that I don't have to fuck for money. NO I am not interested."

S - "Here's my number if you change your mind."

S to J - "Watch out for this one. He'll give you a FAKE number."

J to S - "Trust me. I HAVE the real one."

After the verbal altercation, Blake and I sat back down at the cheesy bar game and continued to lose quarter after quarter. Of course this didn't end the stalker game.

Several drinks later, and one entire drink spilled on my leg from Blake's flailing arms, and a pack of cigarette's the stalker decided to make his next move. The "send your friend" move. Thankfully at this point Blake had had enough and let the bitch have it. He was nice to the girl, but just laid it out on the line that he friend is a fucking, weirdo stalker asshole. Ironically she agreed stating - "but honey, he'll buy all of your drinks. Why do you think we pretend to like him?” At this point it all made sense. Poor guy. I just hope I never get old, fat and smelly - otherwise people will use me for liquor too!

After another interesting night of broken sleep and slight cuddling with Blake, I was ready to approach Wednesday with open arms. My decision to drink Bud Light's versus Cran and Vodka's was an excellent decision. As usual cleaning was cleaning. My parents and I ended up having Mexican Village (our weekly treat) and then I headed over to JRo's. JRo and I watched yet another fantastic episode of The O.C. This show is totally bomb ass awesome. I LOVE IT. I recommend it once again to anyone who has never seen it. Jenny and I both were in shock when Marisa's mom invited Luke in for some HOT action. Yeah... Luke. Yummm.

Saturday:
Early rising on a weekend is always difficult. However when you have no plans on Friday night and you go to bed early, this is easily accomplished. Full of energy I decided to head over to Home Depot and do some shopping. After an hour or so and a cartload of shit I went home. My task for the day - paint the kitchen. I decided to go for this lighter than lemon color. My vision was that it contrasted nicely with the dark, fabulous color I chose for the living room. I was right on. I did discover however that the nasty fluorescent lights in the kitchen do not do this color justice. It needs warmer light. I also bought a few really cute plants at Home Depot to kind of bring life to the apartment. They were on sale for a dollar, which I thought was an excellent bargain. Cool thing is that they didn't even require that much TLC. I was also finally able to fix the holes I put in the wall when I mounted the Surround Sound System, as well as touch up the boo-boo's from when Ang and I painted the living room. I must say that the apartment looks GREAT! I couldn't be more pleased with the results. Now we just need a few new pictures, some new rugs and possibly some curtains for the kitchen door wall and then everything will be mostly squared away. Super Cute.

JRo, Mark, Man-da-licious and I decided to make plans to go to Q on Saturday night. Jenny had also invited a gay friend of hers Geoff, as well as some other friends of hers. We agreed that the peeps would meet at my place at 9ish. Mark showed up first bearing a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. We drank, chatted and I gave the grand tour. JRo and Mandy showed up shortly thereafter. Two glasses of wine later we were out the door on our way to yet another chapter in the Q Diaries.

Once I was in the bar and sitting at the table, the wine finally hit me - ALL at once! I've discovered that I become quite frisky and extremely touchy-feely when I have a good wine buzz. Thankfully man-da-licious doesn't mind when I stroke her hair, fondle her breasts and attempt cheap shots at her ass. Shortly after our arrival, the most attractive man in the bar approached our table - JRo's friend Geoff. I instantly felt an attraction to him. At several points in the evening I gestured to JRO to lift up his shirt. Let me tell you - this guy is ripped and it made me really HOT! I wouldn't say that I have a bad track record of men, however this will be the first guy in my history to meet with such a nice set of pecs, a nice luscious ass, and a great personality and smile to match. I made it a point the rest of the evening to express my interest.

Before the mad dancing began, Geoff pointed out to me that I was way touchy-feely with all the girls, but as soon he got the courage to sit next to me I froze up and sat there. I suppose this happens in situations where I am extremely attracted to someone, or I am with someone of the same sex. I feel like I am being too forward with men if I act all crazy sexy... but with women, I feel very comfortable knowing they know I am not being sexually forward. Whatever. With a few more drinks. Everything changes.

Eventually JRo's other friends showed up. A probation officer and two prosecutor's - all women - all very drunk by the end of the night. I was warned in advance that (we'll call her Marsha) Marsha was a WILD woman and ready for action. Shortly thereafter "our gang" headed to the dance floor where a majority of this evening took place.

My goal was to dance as provocatively as possible and as close as possible to Geoff. This would eventually easily be accomplished through the efforts of my cohorts, JRo and Man-da-licious. As usual the DJ played the typical 80's tunes while we danced our asses off.

Several scandalous things that come to mind from this particular evening at Q:

- I dry humped, while dancing, Eminem's probation officer. This crazy beeeea, was bumping and grinding with the best of them - including myself. I couldn't believe some of the stuff she was doing. As a matter of fact she wore me out to the point that I am now convinced that I don't do enough squats at the gym. She was dancing like that because she was horny. I was dancing like this to practice my timing.

- At some point during the dancing extravaganza, someone on stage grabbed me and motioned for me to dance with him. Handing off my beer to Mandy I moved closer to the stage where apparently I was dancing with this boy’s crotch. That is when he grabbed me again this time pulling me up on the stage on the other side of the guardrail. When I questioned how I was going to get over the railing, he lifted me right over the top. When this occurred I kicked JRo's beer out of her hand. I could swear that in my peripheral vision I saw the beer bottle flying in the air, spraying it's devil juice all over the dance floor (however this all happened within about three seconds, so I question just how much of that was my imagination). Once again I was bumping and grinding on stage with guys, girls, and trolls alike. All I recall is Jenny and Mandy making faces and motioning for me to get off stage. Of course I was under the impression this was some type of new dance move, versus them trying to tell me that I was losing points with Geoff because I was dancing with someone who was beyond hideous. SHIT. I need better judgment when I drink.

- After the above incident, I concentrated all of my efforts on Geoff, Jenny, Mark and Mandy. No more intrusions by other peeps. Of course who pops up right next to me? BLAKE #2. The funny thing is that he knows he is Blake #2. JRo even called him Blake #2. Crazy. Blake made a comment to me that I was being "nasty and erotically naughty" and how come I was never like that with him. I responded with - "Because you never gave me the chance." With a pat on the cheek (well both cheeks, he he he) I was back to 'the girls".

- While Dancing with HOTTIE Geoff, a VERY good song came on over the sounds system. Of course I couldn't tell you what song it was now, but trust me, it was good. I was dancing behind Geoff, making those vibrant hip motions and pressing my semi-erect (or fully erect - I can't remember that either) cock into the jeans of Geoff's nice, fabulous ass. I think the "dance floor action" got a little too hot at one point because Geoff disconnected himself from me and told me that he "couldn't do that anymore".

All in all, the evening at Q was worth every cent spent. I haven't had such a large tab at the bar in quite a long time. The ride home was a very interesting one. Horny as hell, I almost invited Mark to come upstairs. In the aftermath I am really glad I didn't. Believe me when I say, it has nothing to do with how cute Mark is. It has everything to do with our friendship that I cherish.

Home alone - once again... just Jason and Greyse the cat - the spoiled rotten cat. My parent’s cat, who refuses to sleep next to me, but instead on top of my feet. The same cat who hasn't grasped the concept of keeping the litter in the box, but instead all over the hardwood floor. The cat is the cutest thing since Shirley Temple, but she drives me mad. It just makes me miss Kirby even more - hopefully heaven is treating you well Princess Grace.

Last but not least in any sense... I received this letter from BB from the OC:


Jason,

After my first day of work this week I proceeded from work to have dinner with my best friend Mercedes, unknown to what I would go home to that night. Dinner was beautiful and full of laughs as it usually is when Mercedes and I get together at the Shoeless Joe’s on wing night. It’s great it’s a Restaurant/Bar with Jocks and Str8 Boys All Watching Hockey and Eating Wings…. Did I ever mention I have a thing for really str8 acting men; well I just did if I didn’t. So I left the restaurant and started to think about the package that may be waiting for me when I arrived. Just as in mind I walked into my room and there is was. I hadn’t even gotten in the door and I could tell it was glowing with an unspeakable kind of gesture. I instantly became very excited and more so when I saw the simple box letters that read “Happy Valentine’s Day” I proceeded to open the card with little butterflies that flew from side to side in my stomach. I ended the card with a smile and tear in my eye. The feeling I felt left me overwhelmed with a sudden joy. It’s been such a sort time that I have meet you One Fine OnStar Day Ago. You have never seeked to ever amaze me or leave me to comfort or joy. I admire your strengths and your ambitions and I am overall humbled by the sounds and gesture I have encountered in such a short time. I look at the e-mails and the conversations and it’s so hard to believe you are so far from me, when at time you feel so close. I just want to thank-you for the smile and feeling you brought me when I received your card. Things have been hard for me and still are going to be for quite some time, but someone like you makes it that little bit easier.

Thank-You For The Bottom Of My Heart
Love Your Friend
BB From The OC

It is nice to have great friends... isn't it? Love ya Bobby!




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OHHHH, Fabulous. I wonder if he'll fuck me in a sea of parachutes....


You are going to Marry Josh Hartnett. He is really
shy, but don't let that fool you. He is really
outgoing and sweet with those he loves and will
be loyal to them for the rest of his life.
Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
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The First Annual "Summer Gay Blogger Bash"
(location yet to be determined)

So you're a blogger and you're gay, right? Ask yourself this question... How often do you read journals from fabulous peeps such as yourself and think, "I wonder what this guy/gal is like in person?"

Is Rob Byrnes really the Famous Author he claims to be?
Is Boi From Troy really from Troy? I mean what's his deal?
Does MAK really have a bizarre fetish with farm animals or is this just Ohio humor gone wrong?
Does this hottie give good head like you imagine he does?

These questions can finally be answered.

How you ask? - By attending what is to become the EVENT of the year. As the official event planner of SGBB, I invite you to submit your comments on what locations would be desirable for the festivities as well as what time frame would be best (a.k.a. early summer, late summer, after Labor Day, you get the point). You can post your comments directly on this site or email me.

I have faith that this will be quite an entertaining and rather scandalous event for all. I will make it my personal mission to ensure that every attendee has a good time! ;-)

Also, if you would please email me if this sounds like something you would be interested in, I would like to compile a list of possible "guests" just so I know what I am getting myself into when I make promises like "good time assurance". Just type SGBB in the subject line so I don't delete it.

* * * * *

The first Idea I would like to throw out involves White Water Rafting. Last summer over Labor Day I went on a trip hosted by Rivermen in West Virginia. This ended up being one of the most memorable trips I have ever taken. The facilities were awesome, the guides were HOT and super nice, and it had a private lodge and bar on site for guests only. Every night they had a live band... Very cool. It has a little something for everyone too - horseback riding, repelling, ATV rentals... You name it, they have it. This particular trip we took we rafted in four or five Class V rapids (this is considered the second best white water in the United States after some runs in Colorado - and in the top ten in the world). I was extremely impressed with the value of the trip, the people, the facility, etc.

Let me know what you all think.... Toss in those ideas and promote, promote, promote. The better the response, the more fun this will be.

I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Jason




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The evening is set for a quiet evening for two, you and I.
You are dressed impeccably, smelling divinely, and looking better than anything.
The music is soft jazz, the wine, red, dry, and perfect.
The dancing is slow, so that I can grind into you, and you into me.
We lean into one another, the kisses so passionate, they take us away.
We end up in your bedroom,
sampling from each other's bodies.
temperature rises, and so do expectations; I see you're interested too.
Hours later,
you are finally satisfied, by my mouth.
I am in another world, on a new plateau
I am one with you, J.

If only I got email like this ALL the time. It would be even better if it were from people that weren't anonymous secret admirers.

I heard recently from many people that I am beginning to develop a severe case of road rage. I guess I don't realize how aggressive I am when I am driving, but this is obviously being reflected in the conversations I have when I am driving. JRo, tells me that I driver her crazy with the "MOVE OUT OF MY WAY YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH", "JACKASS, LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE. Prick", "USE A SIGNAL NEXT TIME, whore", "GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO. FUCK. You should have went ya cunt". Yes folks... I have a naughty mouth when I drive. Maybe I should see a shrink. Either that or I should just start leaving my house a little bit earlier - or just not be in a rush all the time.

In relation to the road rage comments above, this afternoon on the way to work I got in to it hardcore with some dickhead in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Mr. Fuckstick thought he was all that with his clean black Jeep, his cell phone propped ever so annoyingly on his shoulder, driving ten miles an hour under the speed limit. To summarize what happened leading up to this jerk:

- I was stuck behind a Bus - that had no capability of acceleration whatsoever.
- The other lane had a Taurus who was driving just a slow as the bus, just inches in front of the buses bumper in the lane next to it, leaving Jason no opportunity to get around it.
- Just when the bus was gaining some speed ahead of the Taurus, I switched lanes to get around him, however as I did this the Taurus sped up and the bus slowed down.
- When I switched the Jeep Cherokee sped up and stole my spot, causing me to get further stuck in traffic.
- The Jeep passed me on the right and I switched lanes rather aggressively to get around the damn bus (I learned how to drive from a straight guy... this accounts for a lot).
- Annoyed by the situation I wanted the Jeep to speed up and he continued to go VERY VERY VERY slow, obvious to the fact that I was annoyed and further attempting to annoy me more.
- The Jeep slowed down to the point that there was an opening to pass and just as I launched past him he accelerated (poor Jeep, it sounded like it was about to explode).
- Forced to get behind the Jeep once again because I had to turn right at the light, he decided it would be a good idea to toy with me going 25 miles an hour. Asshole.

Now that you are up to speed (no pun intended), the right hand turn lane opened up and I feverishly accelerated past the dickhead and proceeded to turn right. At this point, Jeep Jack-ass got behind me and I saw him fumbling for something in my rearview mirror. I have to assume at this point that he was writing down my license plate number. Whatever, Pussy Boy!

I turned before he could write anything down. He turned right after me cutting off several cars and almost causing an accident. Thankfully my office building is close to the corner. I had to cut across a lane of traffic and into the left hand turn lane to get into my parking lot. Jeep jack-ass did not have enough time to do this to follow me, so he went down to the other entrance. Uhhh ohh. I sped through the parking lot, parked in the first noticeable spot (completely on the wrong side of the building), popped my trunk, grabbed my briefcase and ran inside. I peered out from the tinted glass and noticed Jeep jack-ass driving around looking for me.

This actually reminds me of a very similar situation when another driver followed me to work when I worked for C. Lewis Consulting. If you have ever been to Michigan (and to further that, driven in Michigan) you will know just how bizarre our road system is set up. To make a left hand turn you have to pass the light, do a turn-a-round and then turn right back at the same light you just drove through. Well often times at busy intersections the turn-a-rounds are several lanes wide. Captain Obvious would know that the farther right you are in the turn-a-round the farther the lane to the right on the main road you turn in to - DUH! Well some people try to be sneaky and scoot past all the cars in the way far right lane in the turn-a-round to avoid getting stuck behind all those people turn right at the main light (myself being one of them). The problem is that if you are going to do that you have to be prepared to "put it to thee wood" as well as have a plan B just in case someone in the far lane accelerates the way I do.

Well... moving on... this PRICK in a red Bonneville decides he is going to by-pass me, which I would not and could not stand for. My "boy" instincts kicked in and I raced that fucker to the light, with him beating me. His Supercharged V-6 in the lighter Bonneville, had a slight advantage over Brutis's Vortec V-8 in terms of pick-up. Naturally because I was pissed off, I tailgated Mr. Man, flashed my brights a few times just to be an asshole (they were VERY bright in smaller cars rearview mirrors. Well this "gentleman" decides to play games with me - speeding up and slowing down, cutting me off, etc. - so I played back, knowing full well I only had another mile and a half to deal with him. Well, just as I put on my blinker to turn into my parking lot at work, he turned on his blinker to turn into the office parking lot directly across from mine. Immediately he swerved across two lanes of traffic and followed me into my parking lot. He pulled up right behind my truck and started screaming obscenities at me, telling me that he wanted to fight. I told the fucker to bring it on (which is quite out of character for me, but I wasn't going to let this bully intimidate me). Well... when he put his car in reverse and was going to come after me I walked very quickly to the front door of the office, screamed for help when I got inside and closed the door, and immediately locked the door. My coworkers thought this was hilarious and all had a laugh at my expense. I should have learned then... ohh well.

So I've been playing this game at work with a coworker of mine from Oshawa Ontario, Canada. We communicate through our internal command prompts and send messages from PC to PC. The game is that when we transfer calls to one another, we give the other person a word that they have to use during the call. We've created a point system that for the first successful use of the word you receive 10 points and each use thereafter you receive 20 points. If for any reason you fail to use the word you get a 15 point deduction. When we actually transfer the call over we just mute ourselves and listen in. This game is so fucking hilarious. Today Bobby gave me the word "toys". I successfully used the word four times and almost a fifth time but the customer cut me off because she wanted to talk instead. To most this may not sound like anything, but you try incorporating the word "toys" into a work related conversation without sounding like you are mentally impaired. It becomes especially difficult for me because my calls are very scripted. At this point however, Jason is in the lead 70-50. GAME ON BB, GAME ON!

So my question of the day (and I expect comments since I know how many people read this journal) What do you think the difference is between "seeing someone" and "dating someone"? Is there a difference? I of course have my set definitions, however I am curious about how other people feel. My biggest reason for asking is because I have been approached by several people who asked "Are you and Chris seeing one another, or are you dating?" Considering I haven't heard from him since Saturday, I don't know.


Enuff for today... it is approachin' quittin time!

J








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Where do I begin? First off, I had the most incredible date last night. Originally the plan was that I was going to have dinner with my roommate and some of her friends at a posh restaurant in Birmingham called the "City Cellar". I had advised Ang that this was contingent upon whether or not I had a date on Saturday night. It wasn't until Friday evening that Chris called (if you recall he is the handsome, fabulous gentleman from New Years Eve). My brief chat with Chris eventually revealed the real reason he called, to ask me if I was busy on Saturday evening. It was then set. Chris and I were about to embark on our first date. EXCITING!

I spent all day Saturday preparing for the big event. It had been several months since I did some serious manscaping and it was definitely long overdue. I trimmed, shaved, trimmed some more, plucked... and yes it made a HUGE difference. I feel human again. I feel attractive again. To the (excuse the pun) naked eye, you wouldn't notice a difference, mainly because in the wintertime not much skin is exposed - BUT if I were ever presented with the opportunity to get naked, I would have passed it up only because I felt hairy, nasty and rotten. In my opinion, there is nothing like a baby soft, smooth ass to grab a firm hold of. YUMMM! Three hours later I was back to my normal state and ready for what the night was to bring on. By this time Ang had returned from her daily errands.

Ang and I decided that we were going to head over to the apartment complex management office. HOLY SHIT am I glad that I made the decision to traipse over to the management office. Ang had warned me before that the leasing cute in the office was hot... but she NEVER gave a detailed description. To say the least, I could have hopped the desk and has my way with him right there on the floor. Cheers to Craig the leasing guy... who in my opinion could get lucky in whatever way he is interested in (if he likes girls he can have Ang, if he likes guys he can have me. PERFECT!!) Rushing back home after our quick meeting, it was time to get ready. Chris was coming over at 4:30p and I of course had to be ready for anything that might come my way (that that how you will ;-)

I really enjoy taking my time when I get ready. I sing in the shower (usually to Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You), wash and condition my hair, exfoliate with those cute little gloves, sing some more (generally Nat King Cole for my encore performance), then I ever so lightly wash my face with my favorite Aveda products. It isn't until after I get out of the shower that I am rushing around like a bat out of hell trying to get ready. I must say that I looked ever so cute yesterday and I felt it too. Sometimes you look cute, but you feel disgusting. Not this day. I felt great, I looked great, ohh yeah and thanks to Issey Miyake, I smelled delectable.

Chris was a tad bit tardy due to an accident on 696 - the world’s fastest moving expressway. If you don't plan on driving 85, take another route because someone will inevitably run your slow ass over. LOL Kudos to Chris for calling exactly at 4:30 to let me know that he was in a traffic jam (later identified as a gawker slowdown because of a vehicle on fire - ooops - I know how that goes!) I can't get enough of polite men. Mmmmm.

Chris finally arrived at 4:45p, which was fine by me. It worked out nice because Ang and her friends had already left for their dinner reservations so I had the place to myself. I lit some candles, poured some wine and was ready for a HOT boy to knock on my door - and he did. Cute as a button, I hugged Mr. Right and invited him in to my humble abode. I showed him around the apartment, impressed him with my mad decorating skills, and then we sat down on the couch.

Yesterday in the early afternoon I discovered the digital music channels on our cable. I am so impressed with the quality of the music as well as the variety. I might very well never listen to the radio again. So... back to the story, Chris and I were listening to the music channel when he admitted to me that he is a huge Britney Spears fan. Shocked as I was, I asked if he had heard her new single, "Toxic". I was even more shocked when he said no! I immediately requested his presence in Angie's room and proceeded to play the single for him. This move into Ang's room led to a large discussion of music, meaning and what songs are great to have sex to. I have to admit that I felt stupid at one point because I shared that while I haven't had sex to this one particular song, I found it to be an incredible song that turned me on in a sexual way when I heard it. Who knew that it could be interpreted as a song about rape? If you listen to the words in Tori Amos's song "Precious Things" it is a possible scenario that she is discussing how she was robbed of her virginity or even possibly raped. Ooops. I suppose I should start listening to the words versus the beats of songs. What I took from this experience is that Chris values the entire "experience" not just a piece of it. I like that.

Throughout the several hours that we sat in Ang's room listening to miscellaneous songs on the computer with extreme bass, I was looking for an opportunity to give Chris his Valentine's Day card. While I was shopping on Friday night I found the most perfect card for the occasion. It was titles "The Kiss". The card went on to tell a story about a kiss that hasn't happened and how two people were drawn together for a kiss that was meant to happen. It was very fairytale-esque, but it suited the mood I was going for. The closing line of the card was "Valentine, your kiss is waiting...”

I found the perfect opportunity to surprise my Valentine with the card when he expressed interest in using my restroom facility. I quickly removed the card from it's hiding spot, placed in on the bed where he was sitting and then struggled to find the perfect song to play when he reentered the room and found the card. I couldn't find the "perfect" song but I found a decent one - Coldplay, "Clocks". When Chris came back from the bathroom, I non-chalantly hit play as if I hadn't spent the last three minutes looking for this particular song. He immediately saw the card and began to blush, proclaiming that he was so sorry for not getting a card for me. I told him it was not necessary to apologize, that I didn't expect a card or a gift, and that I didn't have to get him anything either, but I wanted to. He liked that answer.

Than the unexpected happened. I was really worried about giving him the card because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable in any way considering this was our first date and he does have a boyfriend. Chris opened the card and slowly began to read the fairytale romance of "The Kiss". I watched intently as he read it's contents and I waited patiently until he was done. His response... "Wow".

I wasn't sure at first if that was a "wow" this was such a cute card and perfect for the occasion, or if it was "wow" this card is way over the top and you've now managed to freak me out.

My response of course involved questioning whether it was a good wow or a bad wow. Chris responded by saying he was curious if I felt a chill in my spine when I read the card, because if I felt the way he felt about the card - that it was absolutely perfect - as well as he felt that the card was written specifically for him and I.

"Wow".

Shortly thereafter the two of us decided we would head over to Pronto! to have some drinks before we went to have dinner. At this point - no kiss. Hummm... didn't the card give specific instructions that I was willing and waiting... patience, dear Jason, patience. I determined that Chris took the card as an open invitation to redeem whenever he felt the timing was right. He he he.

We arrived at Pronto! around 7:30p. We grabbed a couple of beers and moved into a rather secluded area of the bar away from all the noisy music and the loudly dressed, obnoxious patrons. Chris and I continued what I considered to be an incredible conversation. We talked politics, religion, work, careers, life, everything. At one point there was a several minute time span of silence. Finally the silence was broken with, "Jason, does silence ever make you uncomfortable?" My response to the question included a personal example of how people can have meaningful time spent together, without ever saying a word. Sometimes the best of friendships are silent ones. I proceeded to explain that I was rather enjoying Chris's company and that silence indeed did not make me uncomfortable and that it is about the company not the conversation. He smiled, giggled a bit and once again we were silent (for only a few moments).

The silence this time was broken with a huge smile from Chris and a question from me asking him what he was smiling about. He explained to me that this whole date was really out of character for him and that he was really enjoying this newfound freedom from his typical everyday life. He claimed that his life was in a rut and this one event alone was making his life a whole lot brighter. I began to smile internally (and without my knowledge it probably reflected externally as well). He told me about how reserved he is and that had it not been for his immense attraction to me, myself and my personality, he wouldn't normally have been drawn to such an experience. Ohh the power of attraction!

Close to 8:45 we finally decided it was time to head over to Rexy's for a little Thai. Just as we were putting our coats on and walking out the door, one of my favorite songs came on - Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart". How appropriate considering I feel so jaded recently when it comes to relationships and men. Is Chris the one to unbreak my heart and make me believe that love is out there? Only time will tell. After belting out the chorus and breaking into some choreography, I was face to face with the one and only person I was interested in being with right there, then and now. For a brief moment we stared into one another's eyes, talking without saying word, and the inevitable happened. The kiss. The kiss that was just right, and just perfect. It wasn't even the kind of kiss where tongues are tangled and faces are half slobbered with love juices, it was a very simple, non-complex (but ever so complex) open mouth kiss. My lips never felt so good. It last only for a moment, but it somehow took the evening into another direction.

We parted company with Pronto! holding hands, giddy as ever, into the brisk cold winter night. For the first time since I can remember I drove the speed limit. I wanted my evening with Chris to never end - even though I knew it would.

Surprisingly Rexy's was not busy. This could be attributed to the fact that it was close to 9pm and most couple were already done with dinner, either that or Thai is not the culinary delight of choice on Valentine's Day. We only waited about 10 minutes to be seated, which I didn't think was quite bad at all considering we did not have a reservation. While we sat in the waiting area, Chris and I discussed camping and roughing it. I personally find it incredibly sexy when a man is willing to rough it in the wilderness. When I say rough it, I mean with tents, campfires, no showers (even though that I do miss when I don't have it), no electricity - just two men (preferably naked) enjoying each other. Camping is so interesting because it forces people to communicate. There usually are not any distractions to stray your attention from the other person or persons. When Chris told me that enjoys camping and the like and that he would definitely be interested in partaking in such an event - I couldn't have been more excited. My attraction was continuing to grow by the second. I could really get used to this guy. "WOW".

Dinner continued with more conversation, a full stomach and a better understanding of one another. We both have undying interest in the Titanic (which is crazy because I don't know much about history but I know everything there is to know about the Titanic. You are all probably asking yourselves how this subject even arose. One of my favorite questions to ask a date (when things seem to be going well, mind you) is "If you could go back in time to any event, place, or person, who, what or where would it be, and why?” The responses are always extremely fascinating. Chris responded that he would enjoy going back to right after the Renaissance Period for a variety of different reasons. I always judge a good date by whether or not they are polite enough to ask the same questions back. This shows me that they are not to self-centered but also that they are interested in getting to know me as much as I am in getting to know them. Chris asked me the same question every time. SCORE. More points to the cute boy man. Of course my response to the same question - The Titanic.

By this point in the evening the number one thing on my mind was how awesome Chris probably looks naked. If he is as good of a kisser upstairs, what magic could he work downstairs? While I wanted it (BAD) I promised myself that I wouldn't give it up under any circumstance. I wanted him to beg for it one day, which is strange because I feel like he was going for the same thing. This would only prove itself later in the evening.

After dinner and a shared dessert (two forks, one chocolate torte looking thing with raspberry puree...) I headed off to the bathroom. Normally this would be what I consider perfect timing because that is when they normally bring the check. When I am on a bad date, I ALWAYS use the restroom at this point. When I return from the restroom I always act surprised that the date paid for dinner and I promise that the next time he must let me pick up the check - of course knowing full well that there will not be a next date. This time was different. I wanted to pay. For those of you that know me, yes this is a miracle! When I came back with my typical response of, you have to let me pick up the check next time, assuming there will be a next time, and Chris replied, "Of course there will be a next time, why, don't you want there to be a next time?” I quickly replied, "Definitely". On that note, we departed.

It was quite a short trip back to my place considering I live only minutes from where we had dinner. Had more planning went into this meal; I would have made sure the place we had our meal at was half way across town. Ooops. Ohh well, next time I'll have to change that plan. ;-)

Once we arrived at my complex Chris exited Jinx (the Grand Am) and announced the despite his liking, it was time for him to get home so he could let his dog out. With my best pouting eyes, I asked him if he was able to come upstairs for only a minute. He said he could spare five and winked. Once inside the apartment he took position on the love seat and I stood next to the couch. I thanked him for a wonderful evening and thanked me likewise. After about ten minutes of chit chat and still no kiss, he rose and told me that he needed to get going - for real this time. Right.... Right.... I think it was just a hint that we needed to cap off the evening with a little tongue action.

Slowly but surely the entire time he and I were chatting I inched closer and closer. By the time he stood up to leave I was directly next to him - waiting, anticipating, hoping for what I imagined to be the most romantic kiss of my life. On that note, it happened. He put his arms around me, mine around him. We looked one another in the eye and that was that. His lips met mine, and mine met complete ecstasy. I was aroused beyond belief. As a matter of fact at one point I was on my tippy toes wondering how in the hell that happened.

Mouth to mouth, I led Chris over to the couch. He slowly lowered me onto the cushions and proceeded to position himself directly on top of me. WOW! This guy is smooth. I removed his hat and ran my fingers through his hair gently, desperately seeking to touch every part of his body. Before the end of "The Kiss", various articles of clothing were removed, things were a bit messed up, we were both breathing hard (and were hard) and the ever so frightening words hit my ear. He whispered softly..."I have to get going. To be continued next Saturday, right?"

"Right". All I could think was WOW! Sexual tension is such a wonderful thing. We both want one another BAD, but playing whatever game we are playing is quite fun. I have a feeling that once we do share the most intimate thing people can share with one another it will make it that much better.

After Chris left last night, all I could do was think about him. I called every person I know, but of course everyone was busy doing whatever they were doing - most of them probably making mad, passionate love to someone. Personally, while I didn't have sex, I had the equivalent of (rather something even better than the equivalent of) it. I connected emotionally with someone, which means much more than a random cum fest.

To finish off the most wonderful Valentine's Day of my life, I lit a fire and sat down to read the newest installment of the Rob Byrnes legacy - "Trust Fund Boys". After two excellent chapters of reading, I retired to the bedroom - alone.

Sweet Dreams Chris!






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I have so much to update and no time to do it.... life has been so crazy since Blake came back into my life (not that I blame it all on Blake - just a little bit though). I have to give you updates on; my Bill Thomas experience, meeting the interior designer snatch, Ryan and the random phone calls, drinking way too much on Tuesday night, Blake's stalker and the rejection hotline, how scandalous I am in bed, my intense hangover on Wednesday morning, the television at the chinese restaurant, watching the best episode of the O.C. ever, looking at JRo's "cookies" and how that relates to my winter Olympics trip to Salt Lake in 2002, the horrific online experience I had today with the HIV guy's website...

The list goes on. Stay tuned for tomorrow's update including what appears to also be developing into one helluva night!!

Caio




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OMG - I just met the prick who beat me out for my recent promotion. I have to express publicly the distaste I have in my mouth right now. The recent internal position that I interviewed for started with 38 applicants. They then narrowed that down to three people, one including myself. After my initial interview with the department manager I was told that I came in second based on my interview questions. While they were impressed with all three of us based on our qualifications, they were forced to offer the job to the person with the highest interview score. I was a VERY close second. A close second to a 65 year old, bling bling, white man. Normally I post WTF, but today I am going to spell it out for the world... WHAT THE FUCK?

This is the second time in less than two years that someone over the national retirement age has beat me out for a job that I really wanted. Do the hiring managers not realize that while these people have years worth of experience, that they are also about to DIE soon? Why wouldn't you hire an individual like me who is qualified for the job, under the retirement age, and still vulnerable to teach new tricks too? I don't get it. I'm sure that the women who beat me out for the MACPA event planning job has since retired. Even though the bitch didn't have even close to the amount of event planning experience I had, she had worked for a non-profit association for 30 years. Apparently that made her much more qualified. What I don't get is why you would hire someone who potentially will retire in a few years (either that or die) and waste all that time and energy in training someone? DUH. This must be a tough market, either that or the people hiring are just stupid.

Phew... I feel much better now. The old man asks too many questions. Now that I know who he is, I am paying much more attention. He wears too much jewelry and I bet he wears Old Spice. He strikes me as the type of man who wears lacy, satin women's underwear. He seems to also be the type that takes it one step too far and wears the matching bra too ( I could have sworn I saw a bra strap underneath his multiple layers) I bet he shops at Victoria's Secret - or better yet Frederick's of Hollywood. He sure likes jewelry too - and he likes a lot of gold. I think he is friends with Mr. T ("Hey T... wazzzzzsup? Can I borrow some bling bling? A man's got to make an impression."). Whatever old fart. Good luck.

So I'm sitting here feeling my ass and I've decided that I want my ass to be so firm, that it turns me on to touch it. Too bad achieving firm ass status is hard - very hard. I did squats a few times at the gym and almost killed myself. My butt felt like it had been rammed by an army of Swedes. I think I am going to start taking classes at the gym. I think it will help motivate me to get myself there. I'll never have the Playgirl body I want, if I continue to be non-proactive about my working out efforts.

My big news for today... I bought a web domain name - www.eventcreationz.com. I know absolutely nothing about web development or graphic design, but I'll be damned if I let that defeat me. I am going to create a world class, fabulous web site for my new business venture and blow everyone's socks off. I won't settle for anything less than perfect, which is why I need to do it myself (that and I can't afford to have someone else do it for me). I will be Event Planner extraordinaire. Event Creationz by Jason Westley. I think it is has a nice "creative" ring to it. Give me five years and I'll be planning the Academy Awards show (okay maybe 10). On that note, if any knows anyone that would like some event consulting I'm willing to plan some events at no charge (free consulting - but they will still have to pay for the event itself). I've done what seems like hundreds of corporate and social events in the past, I just can't claim them as my own because I planned them under the company I formerly worked for. I assure you all that I am excellent at what I do and you won't be disappointed.

Enuff...


Jason






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"My Gay Boyfriend"




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Blake Andrew Spear - Welcome Back Buddy!

For those of you that an "in" on all the drama you know very well that this was a huge step for me (inviting Blake back into my life). I've been informed by some that I am a very stubborn person (mainly Blake). I don't view myself as being stubborn, rather just someone who stands up for what they believe in and doesn't take and shit (although I often take a lot of shit anyway - I just use my personal stances as a way to reduce the amount of bullshit I have to deal with).

Well, here is the history on Blake and I (a brief summary).

Blake and I met in January of 2000 at Paradise club in Lansing, Michigan. I was hanging out with this guy named Chris Mathis (total weirdo - confirmed by all). Chris knew that I had always had a big crush on Blake, so in a lame attempt to try and win my affection, he introduced me to Blake. This he should not have done. Blake and instantly connected. That was on a Thursday night. The following day, Blake and I began what would to this day be the longest date I have ever had... 66 1/2 hours to be exact. That weekend created a monster (if two people can be one in the same). Blake immediately moved into my college apartment with my roommate Sarah Losee and me. Our threesome living arrangement ended up being such a fun experience for all. Blake and I during our relationship as lovers (which lasted for all of a month) rarely parted company, except to go to the occasional class here and there.

One month to the date that Blake and I met - he broke up with me. I knew for the most part that things would never work out with Blake only because at the time he was such a social butterfly and I was more of a reserved, homebody type. Things have changed (dramatically) since then, however this was the case at the time. Blake will tell you to this day that he didn't cheat on me, but sources say that he did. I actually caught the boy dropping Blake off the next morning (completely by accident) when I was dropping off an anniversary card that I made for him (broke college student, ya know). Since then Blake and I have always remained friends, but we've had the bumpy road relationship.

The biggest problems with the two of us is that we both are attracted to the same type of men; we both are debaters and hate to lose; we both are stubborn (even though I don't think I am); and the biggest problem is that on occasion we are both overly dramatic (especially when we are together).

My conflict with the whole situation is that no matter what Blake does to me, I can't stay mad at him. It really bothers me sometimes because in the past he really has done some very hurtful things, even though I know he didn't mean to do them. I relate all of it to common sense - but since when have many gay men been able to compensate themselves in the common sense department. Sometimes we get into fights and we don't speak a peep to one another for sometimes 8 months. I always go into the fights and the drama with the intention of NEVER speaking to him again. Obviously as you all have noticed, this doesn't work. The funny thing is that when we do for long periods of time without talking, once we do talk, everything is back to the way it was before we even got into the fight.

This last fight was so ridiculous, I often wonder what the point of it was. Basically Blake was pissed at me for pushing him into and agreement that he wasn't interested in being a part of, but I thought it was necessary for us to continue to have a stable relationship without any fights. At the first chance he got, Blake tried to use our agreement against me and then issued a warning to me that I needed to apologize to him. Well I wouldn't and didn't and still haven't, but that is why he wouldn't call me. So because he wouldn't call me, I wouldn't call him. Childish yes... completely. But that is our relationship. I would sum it up using these lyrics from a famous tune... "Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you. NO you can't. YES I can...". You get the point.

So things bring us to yesterday. Blake and I have not spoken a word to one another since July 2003. I think I shocked myself when I called him yesterday. Here's how the call came into play. JRo went to see "Movin Out" yesterday downtown. Blake's very cute younger brother Eric is one of the cast members in the touring Broadway show (very talented I might add. He studied at the Joffrey Ballet School in New York City. A week or so ago JRo, Man-da-licious and I were having dinner at Como's in Ferndale and in pop's Eric Spear. After a brief conversation JRo determined that Eric would be performing in the show that she was going to see yesterday afternoon.

Well, after the show was over (and a few winks to JRo from Eric later) Jenny called me to tell me that I had to call Blake and resolve my issues with him. Since Jenny had always been the biggest advocate against the redevelopment of my relationship with Blake, I figured I should listen to my good friend and take her advice. Afterall, it meant a lot coming from her. So... I broke down and called the bitch. I got his voicemail, left a message and waited. About an hour later Blake called back. We determined that we would hang out that night after he had dinner with his family at the Peking House in Royal Oak. Cool. Let the craziness begin....

For whatever reason my cellphone doesn't particularly care to ring when in my bedroom. As the story goes Blake had called me several times, but I never heard the phone because it didn't ring. Instead I heard the buzzer for the door ring. I honestly had no clue who it was, I just hit the button to unlock the door. I figured it was someone who accidentally pressed the incorrect apartment number and that once in the building they would find their way to wherever the were trying to get to. I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind that it was someone coming to visit the people who used to live in my apartment and that any minute they were going to knock on my door and I was going to have to pretend I wasn't home. With my eye up to the peephole, attempting to remain silent just in case I needed to be, I saw a familiar face walking through the hall. It was Blake! He called my roommate Ang to get directions. I was relieved and a bit nervous.

After an hour of deliberation, Blake insisted that I go to Q with him - just for a bit. The I don't have any money thing doesn't EVER work with Blake. So essentially I was forced into attendance. It was really nice to hang out with an old friend and catch up on everything we've missed over the course of 7 months. Funny how it felt like I just saw him yesterday.

For the rest of the evening the usual tales of debauchery applied. I ended up making out with two women. NO action for the boi's in the house... just the women. This is why I think posing in Playgirl will be an exceptional career move for me. I think it would really help jumpstart my wedding planning business. I have to admit though that this one chick at the bar had the most amazing rack I have ever seen. I was in awe over her "girls", that I knew it was up to me to invite them "out to play". This NASTY girl and I got our freak on. Our fun involved railings, me getting spanked with my own belt, and tasting a little bit of booby flesh. It was fun. It was slightly noisy in there, so she thinks my name is Nathan, but whatever. It was her first time at Q and I hopefully made it a meaningful experience.

Blake of course was off making out with some boy I went to highschool with - Adam Stonehouse. I didn't personally know him, but I have to admit that he is cute. So is his friend Jim. I got Jim's number. Such a beautiful thing! Yet another addition to my "man list". I'm beginning to think I need to add an addition to my sidebar with descriptions of each boy. When they get dumped I can strike them out. That way everyone will be current. Hummm... let me know if this will help you all.

After my dancing episodes, and breaking Blake away from Adam, we left and went back to my apartment. We sat in Blake's car chatting for almost an hour. We called a bunch of our mutual friends to shock them. Yes folks, a lot of "drunk dialing" took place. It is amazing though how many people we called that were also drunk. Bunch of alkies. DAMN! I know that I was really out of it - sloshed might be the appropriate word. It was fun. Eventually we went inside. Blake ended up staying the night, however he informed me that we wouldn't be having sex because he was too drunk. Odd that he even mentioned that because sex was the farthest thing from my mind (even though I am quite horny these days). He followed that statement by apologizing in advance if he cuddled with me in the middle of the night. I replied with the typical no problem statement as I usually do with Blake.

I fell asleep relatively quickly, however for the first few minutes my world started spinning a bit. That is probably the worst feeling ever. I woke up once in the early morning hours with Blake cuddled up next to me laying on my arm with his head on my chest. I wanted to move my arm so bad because it was asleep, but I just couldn't bear to wake Blake. He looked so innocent and so sweet. This reminded me of the Blake that I met and fell in love with four years ago. While things have drastically changed in both of our lives, he will always remain my Blakee.

I will always love you Blake - the best way I know how.






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So I got a nice surprise today on my apartment door. My first noise violation in the history of my apartment dwelling. WTF? I think it may have something to do with the fact that JRo and I were singing at the top of our lungs to Jewel, on Saturday with the stereo blasting... all the while Ang was in her room with two friends thumping to some "G tunes". This may have upset a neighbor or two, but for real, but have some courtesy for those of us who have a life, k? It was Saturday night and we were having a good time (obviously). The thing that disturbs me is that the management company threatened to terminate our lease if it happens again... HUGE WTF? So I decided to investigate noise violation laws for the city of Royal Oak, Michigan. I didn't find anything, however I did find some rather humorous laws enacted by the state of Michigan back in the day. Enjoy. I promise to have something more fabulous to write about on Sunday.


THE MICHIGAN PENAL CODE (EXCERPT)

Act 328 of 1931

750.532 Seduction; punishment.
Sec. 532.

Punishment - Any man who shall seduce and debauch any unmarried woman shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not more than 5 years or by fine of not more than 2,500 dollars; but no prosecution shall be commenced under this section after 1 year from the time of committing the offense. (PHEW - I'm safe. It says nothing about unmarried men having sex together - however I'm guessing that is covered under another law somewhere else).


Act 328 of 1931

750.548 Trespass upon cranberry marshes.
Sec. 548.

Trespass upon cranberry marshes - Any person who shall enter the premises of any other person, and take and carry away cranberries or cranberry vines there growing, or who shall trample or otherwise injure or destroy the cranberry vines growing thereon, without the permission of the owner or occupant of said premises, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. (Mother Fuckers... now that I know that, I suppose I won't be invading any marshes in the future).


Act 328 of 1931

750.540e Malicious use of service provided by telecommunications service provider.
Sec. 540e.

(1) A person is guilty of a misdemeanor who maliciously uses any service provided by a telecommunications service provider with intent to terrorize, frighten, intimidate, threaten, harass, molest, or annoy another person, or to disturb the peace and quiet of another person by any of the following:

(a) Threatening physical harm or damage to any person or property in the course of a conversation or message through the use of a telecommunications service or device. (Does this include when you find out your boyfriend cheated on you and you threatened to rip his nut sack off and feed it to a gaggle of hungry geese?)

(d) Using vulgar, indecent, obscene, or offensive language or suggesting any lewd or lascivious act in the course of a conversation or message through the use of a telecommunications service or device.
(What does this mean in relation to phone sex?)

(e) Repeatedly initiating a telephone call and, without speaking, deliberately hanging up or breaking the telephone connection as or after the telephone call is answered. (I've done this many times - especially when drunk and remembering after the second ring that I'm calling an ex....ooops)

(2) A person violating this section may be imprisoned for not more than 6 months or fined not more than $1,000.00, or both. An offense is committed under this section if the communication either originates or terminates in this state and may be prosecuted at the place of origination or termination.


Act 328 of 1931

750.456 Placing wife in house of prostitution; felony.
Sec. 456.

Placing wife by fraud, etc., in house of prostitution - Any person who by force, fraud, intimidation or threat places or leaves, or procures any other person to place or leave his wife in a house of prostitution or to lead a life of prostitution, shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than 20 years.
(I regretfully inform all of the married men out there with hooker wives, that the dual income is going to be lost...)


Act 328 of 1931
750.390 Malicious annoyance by writing.
Sec. 390.

Malicious annoyance by writing - Any person who shall knowingly send or deliver or shall make, and for the purpose of being delivered or sent, shall part with the possession of any letter, postal card or writing containing any obscene language with or without a name subscribed thereto, or signed with a fictitious name, or with any letter, mark or other designation, with the intent thereby to cause annoyance to any person, or with a view or intent to extort or gain any money or property of any description belonging to another, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. (Well, SHIT! If this includes email messages, I think everyone in America is guilty of an obscene word here and there. I can't imagine how many misdemeanors the Osbourne's have. Hummm...)


Act 328 of 1931

750.357a Larceny of livestock.
Sec. 357a.

Larceny of livestock - Any person who shall commit the offense of larceny by stealing the livestock of another shall be guilty of a felony.

The term "livestock" shall apply to horses, stallions, colts, geldings, mares, sheep, rams, lambs, bulls, bullocks, steers, heifers, cows, calves, mules, jacks, jennets, burros, goats, kids and swine. (That about covers most of Q on Saturday night!)


Act 328 of 1931

750.337 Women and children; improper language in presence.
Sec. 337.

Indecent, etc., language in presence of women or children - Any person who shall use any indecent, immoral, obscene, vulgar or insulting language in the presence or hearing of any woman or child shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. (Question of the Day - if you have a mouth like a sailor and you are a woman, does this law apply to you? Do you get double wammied if you are a mother and you call your child a "fucking brat"?)


Act 328 of 1931

750.338 Gross indecency; between male persons.
Sec. 338.

Any male person who, in public or in private, commits or is a party to the commission of or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of any act of gross indecency with another male person shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than 5 years, or by a fine of not more than $2,500.00, or if such person was at the time of the said offense a sexually delinquent person, may be punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for an indeterminate term, the minimum of which shall be 1 day and the maximum of which shall be life. (Ahhhh, here is the law the screws gay men over. I wonder if I get caught having sex with my boyfriend (if I ever have one again), would they put us in the same prison for life, even better in the same cell?)


Act 328 of 1931

750.102 Blasphemy; punishment.
Sec. 102.

Punishment - Any person who shall wilfully blaspheme the holy name of God, by cursing or contumeliously reproaching God, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

750.103 Cursing and swearing.
Sec. 103.

Cursing and swearing - Any person who has arrived at the age of discretion, who shall profanely curse or damn or swear by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. No such prosecution shall be sustained unless it shall be commenced within 5 days after the commission of such offense. (God Damn It, JESUS CHRIST... Holy Shit (does that count?)). I'm going to hell for sure.


Act 328 of 1931

750.65 Bull; at large on highway or unenclosed land.
Sec. 65.

Any person being the owner of a bull 6 months or more of age or having the same in charge, who shall permit said bull to run at large upon any highway or unenclosed lands shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not more than 30 days or by a fine of not more than $100.00, or both such fine and imprisonment in the discretion of the court. (I once knew this guy named Bull. As a matter of fact my dad's nickname given to him by his brother is Bull... I wonder if my grandparents are guilty of this particular misdemeanor?)

TGIF. Enjoy your weekend folks!!





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Look who is number one as well as the only one...

LINK OF THE DAY TO MY SITE




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Imagine this -
As I lay peacefully resting in my bed with my Sprint PCS phone on vibrate, the humidifier bustling away, and the fish lurking on the bottom of their tank, I hear a loud obnoxious ring tone.

**INSERT THEME SONG FROM SEX AND THE CITY**

I call it a sign from the good lord above, however most would call it a malfunction with my cell phone. It is time to ponder why if my phone was set to vibrate, would it ring as loud as possible at 5:30am. I don't know. There is no logical reason aside from a message. A message from fate.

Once I was able to force my right eye lid open and move my not quite stable body (mainly my head) over to the phone, I noticed it was QT Chris from Q. OMG. I don't think I have ever been so awake at this time of morning. Bright and cheery I answered the phone.

"Hello!"

I am 100% positive that Chris was shocked that I answered the phone at such an untimely part of the day. He stumbled for just a moment on his words.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I was expecting to get your voice mail. I was going to leave you a message."

I'm sure you expected to get my voicemail stud, but HA. I surprised you. I like to do that. After a half hour of good conversation (at least as good as it gets this early in the morning) we ended things exchanging email addresses. Several times throughout the day today we have emailed back and forth. YUMMM. I can't help but ask myself this question though, why is it that I always have to meet people who are taken? Is this some kind of joke or what? I don't get it. Hopefully this one isn't as squirrelly as Ryan - and maybe just as good in bed. Hummm. At what point will I know. Goes with the tootsie pop theory.

As I struggled to go back to sleep this morning, I decided I would confirm that the email address I was given actually was valid (that and if I remembered it correctly). I figured that a biology researcher who is in to animals would appreciate a Ground Hog's day card. So I went to Hallmark and created an e-card. It was cute. Interesting thing is that right after I sent the card, I received an email from the prospective suitor, also writing to confirm the email address. Crazy.

I finally got up this morning at 9:45am. I immediately checked my email to see if I had received any surprise emails back. Yes, of course I did. Amazing. I got sidetracked taking an IQ test (scored a 134). I should have tried harder, but I figured the best way to test myself is to not think so much about the answer, but to just answer it. I think this is why I did so well in college. I didn't have to study. I just took the tests. I probably could have done much better - but ohhh well. I passed with a 3.0 without any studying. That in itself is quite an accomplishment. Add in that I did it in three years - and boo yeah, I got your boyfriend. I got your man!! ;-)

After a quick shower and a cute outfit, I was out the door and on my way to the Credit Union. Today is the day folks that Jason is officially debt free (well according to the credit bureau's). YAY. It felt so good to pay those fuckers off. I will NEVER (and you can quote me on this at a later date if necessary), NEVER get myself into credit card debt again. NEVER. Crucify me and donate my body to science if I do. It felt so good to have thousands of dollars in my checking account. Even if it was only for a few hours.

Naturally after such a grueling task I was hungry. Did you know that Wendy's takes credit cards through the drive-thru? Well, they do. What an amazing idea! I'm actually surprised that it took a fast food joint so long to figure out that this is the day and age of plastic, whether it be credit or debit. I don't carry cash. As a matter of fact, I can't carry cash. It disappears way too fast. I think there is an added guilt trip involved when swiping your debit card. The whole tracking just how much you spent at 7-11 (atleast in my case) is horrendous.

Today has been an incredibly busy day at work. I've been making some phat cash commission wise, which is an excellent thing. I had this feeling when a cute boy woke me up this morning that I was going to have an excellent day. When I am right, I am right! Fabulous. The only thing bringing me down today is that my apartment is 500 degrees Fahrenheit and Ang and I are about to bake from the insides out. Ohhh well. For now we'll just have to open some windows and deal with it.

Adios -

J


Jason and Chris (Pay special attention to picture number three. This is the boy from New Years Eve - HUGE CRUSH!!!! ;-)

As an added bonus - where I've been in the United States of America... (states I've graced my presence with are in red).


create your own visited states map

I've only been to 17 states out of 50. That is terrible. In the next few years I plan to add some more states. I love to travel. I've just never had the chance to take advantage of my desire to explore for financial reasons.





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There is a light!!! I have to expression my appreciation to Paul - my father. It is to him that I owe my soon to be financial freedom. Thanks to the large sum of money that the "bank of Paul" loaned my for twelve months @ 4.5%, I will be debt free by December 30, 2004. YIPPEEE! As all of you are surely aware, having debt is rotten. More rotten than Rotten Ryan. For the first time since I graduated college, I will not have to worry about making credit card payments. This is the most exciting and inspirational thing that has happened in years. I am so excited. So excited in fact that I can't wait to get an American Express card. This sounds really stupid, but, after years of not having cards (just paying on them) it will be nice to have an AMEX to bill all those small incidentals. No more worrying how I am going to come up with gas money two days before I get paid! Very exciting. Now, I'll even finally get that line of credit on my checking account so I NEVER bounce another check, EVER! This is all so exciting and wonderful. As in the words of America's greatest invention - "I'm LOVIN it!"

The weekend was fantastic. JRo and I were a little slow getting on our feet yesterday for our dinner date with Mark and Alex. In my quick departure from my parents home I left my briefcase on the sofa, which happened to have our theatre tickets in it. Talk about a nightmare when you are in a rush to begin with, you are halfway home and then you realize that you have to turn around and go back to where you just came from. Luckily, I wasn't all the way home, or even worse yet at the theatre and realized that I didn't have my tickets. Thankfully JRo was also running late (she was immersed in a plucking spree - been there before.) Drinks at 5pm, turned into drinks at 5:45pm. I'm no fashionista, but I am a fashionably tardy-ista. I'm getting progressively better with age. ;-)

Dinner was awesome. Mark hit the target on the first shot with this culinary creation. Delicious doesn't come close to my feelings on this particular homemade Lasagna. Kudos, Mr. P. It seemed that everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did. This then reassured me that I knew it was good, not just because my blood sugar dropped and anything would have hit the spot! The wine was tasty (a nice Piesporter), the salad was "green", and the cheesecake was heavenly. I've definitely decided I will push for this event to happen on a regular basis. It is so nice to have good food, great friends and a lot of laughs. And trust me - laughing is what we did.

It is amazing what a few glasses of wine will do to even the most reserved people. I was a little worried about Alex at first. It seemed that he was tired and maybe not as interested in this whole experience as Jenny, Mark and I were. It wasn't until after the wretched play and a bottle of pink champagne that Alex really got personable. I think this applies to most people, including myself. I've noticed in the last few years however, that when I drink, I never feel like I am drinking. Is this a sure sign of alcoholism? YIKES. I think the four us let loose last night and because of this I felt we had an incredible time hanging out.

Directly after our lovely dinner at Mark's, we headed off to the "theatre". After an exciting and quite speedy trip to Rochester from Oak Park (JRo was driving - only one wrong turn which took us on a detour of the lovely DaimlerChrysler Technical Center, a road rage incident with some foreigner driving too slow, and yet another missed turn, we finally made it to Meadowbrook. From what I had heard (mainly my parents who are season ticket holders) this was a decent production and was quite humorous. Ohhh the contrary! This play - Greater Tuna - was horrid. So wretched in fact that we left right after one of the characters was having a discussion about hobo's and how they were hogging the underpass and she couldn't throw her trash there. **SIDE NOTE - JRo does a fantastic very realistic impression of that moment in the play**. Mark feel asleep at one point in the first act, and Jenny and I were laughing obnoxiously at things that weren't funny just to try and prevent dosing off. We mutually agreed as a team that we need to "run for cover". An opportunity quickly arose thereafter and we bolted. For a moment I felt guilty, but then Jenny reminded us all, "that is 45 minutes of my life that I can never get back".

After a quick smoke in the parking lot and one frozen booger (you know those kind you can feel in your nose but you don't know what to do about it), we were once again off. Mark announced earlier that he was falling asleep because he stopped drinking, so going with the plan, we were off to my apartment for some pink champagne.

At the apartment we chatted, listened to some music and put on a concert for the entire building. Jenny and I were intent upon demonstrating to Mark, Alex and the rest of the world just how fabulous our rendition of Jewel is. And we did. We did so loud in fact that I am surprised that the neighbors didn't call local law enforcement. It was all in good fun. So were the three bottles of champagne that we drank. It is too bad that in the process I shattered one of my brand new flutes that I got for my birthday. SOB. Ohh well. I've still got the box and JRo is going to find the receipt. "Excuse me, I received this set as a gift, but when I opened the box one of the flutes was broken. Do you think I could exchange this for a new set?"

Clubbin It.
Yet another Saturday night at Q. This Saturday night was special. It was Q's 2nd anniversary party. Of course we didn't know this before we got there, so surprise, surprise when cover was $8.00. Now for all you LA and New Yorkers out there, this is probably nothing. In Detroit, cover is measured by how many drinks you have to sacrifice in order to get in. That is the equivalent of two Bud Lights. Such a shame. ;-)

Once the clan was all "drinked" up - we moved to what JRo consider our spot. We got there a little later than we normally do, so at this point things were a little heated up. The four us immediately started shakin our groove thangs! As a matter of fact, I started floating around, slapping ass and taking names while I was at it! I'm only brave enough to slap girl ass, although occasionally I get enough courage to grab a piece every once in awhile. Ohhh the things we do while intoxicated.

The biggest news was when I ran into QT Chris - the boy from New Year's Eve. OMG - he looked just as good as I remembered he did. We've been out of touch for the past couple weeks, mainly because he is one of those boys that conveniently forgets how to dial and press talk. He's so cute, I forgave him. It was wonderful to dance with him again. I promised him this time that I wouldn't knock him on the floor. He smiled, and rested his head on my shoulder while we did a little "bump 'n grind". It wasn't until about 45 minutes later that he revealed to me that he had something to tell me. Uhhh ohhh. Those words NEVER mean anything good.

As calmly as I could accept what he was about to tell me, I stood and listened. Naturally as my luck would have it, Chris is not single. He has a boyfriend named Bill and they live together and have for three years. He apologized for fibbing to me on New Year's Eve about being single and proceeded to express a deep concern for possibly hurting my feelings. I took the disappointment in stride and pretended that it didn't bother me. Which of course it did. Not because the boy lied to me, but because I have a tendency to enjoy the company of taken men. I really thought I had struck gold with this one - but once again, I was wrong.

What I did find interesting was that after our discussion, I would have expected him to want me to go away. We continued to chat long after that, he bought me a drink (more than likely out of guilt - which to be honest I expected). He even dragged me to the bathroom with him ;-) I felt really guilty because JRo and I had just had a discussion earlier in the day about me not leaving her at the bar and I proclaimed that I have never done that and I never will. Of course what did I do - exactly that. I should learn to keep my mouth closed. I justified it though by telling myself she had Mark and Alex to hang out with. I was a bad friend. I'm sorry Jenny.

SO after my trip to the restroom with Chris, the two of us went over and chilled out with Jenny and the boys. We talked some more, and at one point even began to dance again. In addition to the interesting drama from above, when Chris and I were saying goodbye he told me after I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek that he wanted a "real" kiss. I thought to myself. "did he really say that?" He did. In fact, he said it and he meant it. Yes! The kiss was just like I remembered it to be. I've learned that I am one greedy bitch when it comes to affection. Mainly for the fact that I am ridden of it so often that when I get it, I can't get enough. He told me right before we parted company that not only am I... (insert fabulous comments here), but I am also an excellent kisser. Well, on that note, I had to squeeze in one last tongue twister. Now of course, I can't stop thinking about him. How unlucky can one single guy be? Will he call? Stay tuned to future postings and I'll keep everyone updated.

After leaving Q with "the girls", we went back to Mark's. I of course recounted the entire story to everyone, detail by detail. After what was more than likely a lengthy, drawn out account of the evenings events, I deemed it necessary that we have cheesecake! YUMMM. I ate cheesecake, Jenny and Alex ate leftover lasagna and Mark just watched (he's good at that ;-)

After an exciting day/evening/night of events JRo and I went home, together. Talk about a bed hog. DAMN. LOL. I think the best part of the day was waking up in the middle of the night to "Ummm. No. Really? Ferrr Real? Mmmm. I don't know who JRo was talking to, but it must have been an interesting conversation. I just rolled over and cuddled with Boo Bear - dreaming of Chris.

J





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